Eminus Sleepus Chamber

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Add ASM Disk and check if Standby is recovering

##command to check provisioned disk ##
SQL> select 'ALTER DISKGROUP ADD DISK ''ORCL:'||label
||''''||' SIZE '||total_mb||' M;' gen_statement
from v$asm_disk
where header_status in ('PROVISIONED', 'CANDIDATE', 'FORMER')
order by 1;
2 3 4 5
GEN_STATEMENT
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ALTER DISKGROUP ADD DISK 'ORCL:ASM34' SIZE 92952 M;
ALTER DISKGROUP ADD DISK 'ORCL:ASM35' SIZE 92952 M;
ALTER DISKGROUP ADD DISK 'ORCL:ASM36' SIZE 92952 M;

##command to add ##
ALTER DISKGROUP DATA01 ADD DISK 'ORCL:ASM34' SIZE 92952 M;

## Check ASM Disk group sizes ##

SQL> select TOTAL_MB,FREE_MB,USABLE_FILE_MB,NAME from V$asm_diskgroup;

pztbw_uxusnorw400_XPT.cargill.com
Archived Redo Log
TOTAL_MB FREE_MB USABLE_FILE_MB File Name
---------- ---------- -------------- -------------------------
2788560 92749 92749 DATA01
92952 7909 7909 MIRROR01
92952 5945 5945 ONLINE01
185904 33449 33449 RECOVER01

SQL> select TOTAL_MB,FREE_MB,USABLE_FILE_MB,NAME from V$asm_diskgroup
2 ;

TOTAL_MB FREE_MB USABLE_FILE_MB NAME
---------- ---------- -------------- ------------------------------
3067416 212906 212906 DATA01
92952 21164 21164 MIRROR01
92952 43453 43453 ONLINE01
371808 114877 114877 RECOVER01

## Command to start up recovery process ##
SQL> recover managed standby database using current logfile disconnect;
Media recovery complete.

## Check if MRP# is up and running ##
$> ps -ef | grep mrp | grep oracle

oracle 10248 16867 0 21:28 pts/2 00:00:00 grep mrp
oracle 29268 1 0 Nov16 ? 00:07:42 ora_mrp0_eminus

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

eminus's Activities | RunKeeper

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Query columns used by views

this SQL block will tell you all the columns being used by a view.

SET serveroutput ON
DECLARE
-- local variables, create a cursor for the records
CURSOR c1
IS
SELECT text,view_name FROM dba_views WHERE owner = &&OWNER1;
CURSOR c2
IS
SELECT table_name,
column_name
FROM dba_tab_columns
WHERE owner =
&&OWNER1
ORDER BY 1,2;
BEGIN
DBMS_OUTPUT.ENABLE(1000000);
FOR r2 IN c2
LOOP
FOR r1 IN c1
LOOP
IF (instr(lower(r1.text),lower(r2.column_name)) > 0) THEN
dbms_output.put_line(r1.view_name || ',' ||r2.column_name ||','||r2.table_name);
dBMS_OUTPUT.NEW_LINE;
END IF;
END LOOP;
END LOOP;
END;

Monday, September 20, 2010

useful when resizing datafile

this script i got from asktom.com is a usefull script to determine what object/s are in the end of the datafile which will cause for you to not to shrink it the way you want it to shrink :) (I mean if there is a big free space between that object and the other object)

column tablespace_name format a20
column "Name" format a45
break on file_id skip 1
ttitle &1
select file_id, block_id, blocks,
owner||'.'||segment_name "Name"
from sys.dba_extents
where tablespace_name = upper('&1')
UNION
select file_id, block_id, blocks,
'Free'
from sys.dba_free_space
where tablespace_name = upper('&1')
order by 1,2,3
/

set verify off
column file_name format a50 word_wrapped
column smallest format 999,990 heading "Smallest|Size|Poss."
column currsize format 999,990 heading "Current|Size"
column savings format 999,990 heading "Poss.|Savings"
set pages 3000
break on report
compute sum of savings on report

column value new_val blksize
select value from v$parameter where name = 'db_block_size'
/

select file_name,
ceil( (nvl(hwm,1)*&&blksize)/1024/1024 ) smallest,
ceil( blocks*&&blksize/1024/1024) currsize,
ceil( blocks*&&blksize/1024/1024) -
ceil( (nvl(hwm,1)*&&blksize)/1024/1024 ) savings
from dba_data_files a,
( select file_id, max(block_id+blocks-1) hwm
from dba_extents
group by file_id ) b
where a.file_id = b.file_id(+)
/

column cmd format a75 word_wrapped

select 'alter database datafile '''||file_name||''' resize ' ||
ceil( (nvl(hwm,1)*&&blksize)/1024/1024 ) || 'm;' cmd
from dba_data_files a,
( select file_id, max(block_id+blocks-1) hwm
from dba_extents
group by file_id ) b
where a.file_id = b.file_id(+)
and ceil( blocks*&&blksize/1024/1024) -
ceil( (nvl(hwm,1)*&&blksize)/1024/1024 ) > 0
/

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Undo Rollback time

this query will show you how much time remaining for your rollback session.

for 9i and up

SET lines 500 pages 500 col PCT FOR a5
SELECT state ,
undoblocksdone ,
undoblockstotal ,
cputime ,
undoblocksdone / undoblockstotal * 100 percent,
TO_CHAR(((((undoblockstotal - undoblocksdone) / (undoblocksdone/cputime) / 3600) / 24) + sysdate),'dd-mon-yyyy hh24:mi:ss') timetocomplete
FROM v$fast_start_transactions;
--just a note if your doing a parallel rollback the values does not give the correct values

for 10g and up

SELECT ADDR,
ROUND(((KTUXESIZ*
(SELECT value FROM v$parameter WHERE name = 'db_block_size'
)/1024/1024)),2) "Undo Size",
KTUXESTA "Status" ,
KTUXECFL
FROM sys.x$ktuxe
WHERE KTUXESTA='ACTIVE'

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Oracle: how to get the DDL of a certain object

I have a sql script here to extract DDL of all the objects in a schema, the example below will extract the indexes of a certain schema. this is already formatted so you can spool it in a sql file and later run it.

set feedback off echo off
set long 200000 pages 0 lines 400 trimspool on linesize 400
column txt format a400 word_wrapped
variable ind_owner varchar2(100);

begin
:ind_owner := &schema;
end;
/

exec dbms_metadata.set_transform_param( DBMS_METADATA.SESSION_TRANSFORM, 'PRETTY', TRUE);
exec dbms_metadata.set_transform_param( DBMS_METADATA.SESSION_TRANSFORM, 'SQLTERMINATOR', TRUE );
spool $ORACLE_SID-get_idx_ddl.sql
select dbms_metadata.get_ddl('INDEX',u.INDEX_NAME,:ind_owner) txt from dba_indexes u where owner = :ind_owner;
spool off
exit

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

view open cursor usage in Oracle

--count open cursors by username, SID
break on report
comp sum of curs on report
select user_name, SID, count(*) cursors from V$OPEN_CURSOR group by User_Name, SID order by User_Name, SID;

--displays information on cursor usage for the current session
select * from V$SESSION_CURSOR_CACHE;

--displays information on cursor usage for the system.
select * from V$SYSTEM_CURSOR_CACHE;

--displays open_cursors usage in details
select user_name,to_char(sysdate,'hh24:mi:ss') col1, sql_text from V$OPEN_CURSOR

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Linus Torvalds on Windows 7 ... nice

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Resolving Flashback Database Error: (ORA-38760: This database instance failed to turn on flashback database)

Resolving Flashback Database Error: (ORA-38760: This database instance failed to turn on flashback database)

Unable to allocate flashback log of 1634 blocks from
current recovery area of size 42949672960 bytes.
Recovery Writer (RVWR) is stuck until more space is
available in the recovery area.
Unable to write Flashback database log data because the
recovery area is full, presence of a guaranteed
restore point and no reusable flashback logs.
Use ALTER SYSTEM SET db_recovery_file_dest_size command
to add space. DO NOT manually remove flashback log files
to create space.

so I brought down the db (aborted it)

SQL:.:(.):.> startup mount;
ORACLE instance started.

Total System Global Area 1694498816 bytes
Fixed Size 2139448 bytes
Variable Size 673405640 bytes
Database Buffers 889192448 bytes
Redo Buffers 129761280 bytes
Database mounted.
SQL:.:(.):.> select estimated_flashback_size,flashback_size,oldest_flashback_scn,oldest_flashback_time from v$flashback_database_log;

ESTIMATED_FLASHBACK_SIZE FLASHBACK_SIZE OLDEST_FLASHBACK_SCN OLDEST_FL
------------------------ -------------- -------------------- ---------
0 4.2926E+10 0

SQL:.:(.):.> SELECT NAME, SCN, TIME,
GUARANTEE_FLASHBACK_DATABASE
FROM V$RESTORE_POINT
WHERE GUARANTEE_FLASHBACK_DATABASE='YES'; 2 3 4

NAME SCN TIME GUA
------------------------------ ---------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---
GRP_1 9.2118E+12 21-AUG-09 02.21.03.000000000 PM YES
GRP_2 9.2138E+12 26-AUG-09 08.29.42.000000000 AM YES

SQL:.:(.):.> SELECT OLDEST_FLASHBACK_SCN, OLDEST_FLASHBACK_TIME
FROM V$FLASHBACK_DATABASE_LOG;
2
OLDEST_FLASHBACK_SCN OLDEST_FL
-------------------- ---------
0

SQL:.:(.):.> flashback database to restore point GRP_2;

Flashback complete.

SQL:.:(.):.> select count(1) from v$datafile_header where fuzzy = 'YES';

COUNT(1)
----------
0

SQL:.:(.):.> alter database open resetlogs;
alter database open resetlogs
*
ERROR at line 1:
ORA-38760: This database instance failed to turn on flashback database

in the log
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Flashback Restore Complete
Flashback Media Recovery Start
parallel recovery started with 15 processes
Flashback Media Recovery Log /sbclocal/app/oracle/admin/TESTDB/arch/TESTDB_0001_0695484339_0000000024.arc
Fri Aug 28 10:13:39 2009
Incomplete Recovery applied until change 9213823318145
Flashback Media Recovery Complete
Completed: flashback database to restore point GRP_2
Fri Aug 28 10:24:07 2009
alter database open resetlogs
Fri Aug 28 10:25:21 2009
RESETLOGS after incomplete recovery UNTIL CHANGE 9213823318145
Resetting resetlogs activation ID 4173768512 (0xf8c6a740)
Fri Aug 28 10:27:56 2009
Setting recovery target incarnation to 3
Fri Aug 28 10:27:56 2009
ORA-38760 signalled during: alter database open resetlogs...
Fri Aug 28 10:52:29 2009
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SQL:oradbhost:(TESTDB):PRIMARY> drop restore point GRP_1;

Restore point dropped.

SQL:oradbhost:(TESTDB):PRIMARY> select status from v$instance;

STATUS
------------
MOUNTED

SQL:oradbhost:(TESTDB):PRIMARY> select count(1) from v$datafile_header where fuzzy = 'YES'l
2 .
SQL:oradbhost:(TESTDB):PRIMARY> select count(1) from v$datafile_header where fuzzy = 'YES';

COUNT(1)
----------
0

SQL:oradbhost:(TESTDB):PRIMARY> alter database open resetlogs;
alter database open resetlogs
*
ERROR at line 1:
ORA-01139: RESETLOGS option only valid after an incomplete database recovery

SQL:oradbhost:(TESTDB):PRIMARY> flashback database to restore point GRP_2;
flashback database to restore point GRP_2
*
ERROR at line 1:
ORA-38729: Not enough flashback database log data to do FLASHBACK.

SQL:oradbhost:(TESTDB):PRIMARY> recover database using backup controlfile until cancel;
ORA-00283: recovery session canceled due to errors
ORA-38760: This database instance failed to turn on flashback database

SQL:oradbhost:(TESTDB):PRIMARY> alter system set db_recovery_file_dest_size=50G;

System altered.

SQL:oradbhost:(TESTDB):PRIMARY> flashback database to restore point GRP_2;
flashback database to restore point GRP_2
*
ERROR at line 1:
ORA-38729: Not enough flashback database log data to do FLASHBACK.

SQL:oradbhost:(TESTDB):PRIMARY> recover database using backup controlfile until cancel;
ORA-00283: recovery session canceled due to errors
ORA-38760: This database instance failed to turn on flashback database

-things to do if you got these scenario-
1) turn off the flashback database
2) drop the GRP
3) open the database normally(no resetlogs)
4) create a new GRP from that point

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Check log sequece required for recovery in Oracle

select sequence# from V$log_history where 9151813979322 between first_change# and next_change#

Open cursor usage in Oracle

select a.value, s.username, s.sid, s.serial#
from v$sesstat a, v$statname b, v$session s
where a.statistic# = b.statistic# and s.sid=a.sid
and b.name = 'opened cursors current';

select max(a.value) as highest_open_cur, p.value as max_open_cur
from v$sesstat a, v$statname b, v$parameter p
where a.statistic# = b.statistic#
and b.name = 'opened cursors current'
and p.name= 'open_cursors'
group by p.value;

check Undo users and uncommited transactions in Oracle

set lines 300
set pages 30000
SELECT a.sid, a.username, b.xidusn, b.used_urec Num_of_records, b.used_ublk USED_BLOCKS,(b.used_ublk * ( select value from v$parameter where name = 'db_block_size'))/1024/1024 MB_USED
FROM v$session a, v$transaction b
WHERE a.saddr = b.ses_addr;

select
(select sum(bytes/1024/1024)
from dba_data_files
where tablespace_name = (select upper(value)
from V$parameter where name = 'undo_tablespace')) TOTAL_UNDO_SIZE_MB,
nvl((SELECT sum(b.used_ublk * ( select value from v$parameter where name = 'db_block_size')/1024/1024)
FROM v$session a, v$transaction b WHERE a.saddr = b.ses_addr),0) TOTAL_UNDO_USED_MB,
(select sum(bytes/1024/1024)
from dba_data_files
where tablespace_name = (select upper(value)
from V$parameter where name = 'undo_tablespace')) - nvl((SELECT sum(b.used_ublk * ( select value from v$parameter where name = 'db_block_size')/1024/1024)
FROM v$session a, v$transaction b WHERE a.saddr = b.ses_addr),0) FREE_MB_UNDO
from dual;

--#uncommited transactions

col osuser for a10
col username for a10
set lines 300
set pages 300
col sql_text for a60

select V$SESSION.OSUSER,spid,V$SESSION.status,
V$SESSION.USERNAME,V$SESSION.SID,
V$SESSION.SERIAL#,
V$SESSION.PROGRAM,
V$SESSION.MACHINE,
v$transaction.start_time,
to_number(sysdate-to_date(v$transaction.start_time,'MM/DD/YY HH24:MI:SS'))*24*60 run_time
from
V$SESSION , v$transaction,V$process
WHERE v$transaction.ses_addr = V$SESSION.saddr and V$process.addr = V$SESSION.paddr;

select OSUSER,V$SESSION.status,
USERNAME,SID,
SERIAL#,
SQL_TEXT,
v$transaction.start_time,
to_number(sysdate-to_date(v$transaction.start_time,'MM/DD/YY HH24:MI:SS'))*24*60 run_time
from v$transaction ,
V$SESSION ,
V$SQLAREA
WHERE( (V$SESSION.SQL_ADDRESS = V$SQLAREA.ADDRESS and V$SESSION.sql_hash_value = V$SQLAREA.HASH_VALUE )
OR ( V$SESSION.PREV_SQL_ADDR = V$SQLAREA.ADDRESS and V$SESSION.PREV_hash_value = V$SQLAREA.HASH_VALUE ))
and v$transaction.ses_addr = V$SESSION.saddr;

Temporary tablespace usage in Oracle

--
set lines 200
col sid_serial for a15
col osuser for a10
col module for a20
col program for a30
col tablespace for a10
-- Listing of temp segments.
--
SELECT A.tablespace_name tablespace, D.mb_total,
SUM (A.used_blocks * D.block_size) / 1024 / 1024 mb_used,
D.mb_total - SUM (A.used_blocks * D.block_size) / 1024 / 1024 mb_free
FROM v$sort_segment A,
(
SELECT B.name, C.block_size, SUM (C.bytes) / 1024 / 1024 mb_total
FROM v$tablespace B, v$tempfile C
WHERE B.ts#= C.ts#
GROUP BY B.name, C.block_size
) D
WHERE A.tablespace_name = D.name
GROUP by A.tablespace_name, D.mb_total;

--
-- Temp segment usage per session.
--
SELECT S.sid || ',' || S.serial# sid_serial, S.username, S.osuser, P.spid, S.module,
P.program, SUM (T.blocks) * TBS.block_size / 1024 / 1024 mb_used, T.tablespace,
COUNT(*) statements
FROM v$sort_usage T, v$session S, dba_tablespaces TBS, v$process P
WHERE T.session_addr = S.saddr
AND S.paddr = P.addr
AND T.tablespace = TBS.tablespace_name
GROUP BY S.sid, S.serial#, S.username, S.osuser, P.spid, S.module,
P.program, TBS.block_size, T.tablespace
ORDER BY sid_serial;

--
-- Temp segment usage per statement.
--
SELECT S.sid || ',' || S.serial# sid_serial, S.username, Q.hash_value, Q.sql_text,
T.blocks * TBS.block_size / 1024 / 1024 mb_used, T.tablespace
FROM v$sort_usage T, v$session S, v$sqlarea Q, dba_tablespaces TBS
WHERE T.session_addr = S.saddr
AND T.sqladdr = Q.address
AND T.tablespace = TBS.tablespace_name
ORDER BY S.sid;

Calculate Optimal Undo in Oracle

SELECT d.undo_size/(1024*1024) "ACTUAL UNDO SIZE [MByte]",
SUBSTR(e.value,1,25) "UNDO RETENTION [Sec]",
ROUND((d.undo_size / (to_number(f.value) *
g.undo_block_per_sec))) "OPTIMAL UNDO RETENTION [Sec]"
FROM (
SELECT SUM(a.bytes) undo_size
FROM v$datafile a,
v$tablespace b,
dba_tablespaces c
WHERE c.contents = 'UNDO'
AND c.status = 'ONLINE'
AND b.name = c.tablespace_name
AND a.ts# = b.ts#
) d,
v$parameter e,
v$parameter f,
(
SELECT MAX(undoblks/((end_time-begin_time)*3600*24))
undo_block_per_sec
FROM v$undostat
) g
WHERE e.name = 'undo_retention'
AND f.name = 'db_block_size'
/

SELECT d.undo_size/(1024*1024) "ACTUAL UNDO SIZE [MByte]",
SUBSTR(e.value,1,25) "UNDO RETENTION [Sec]",
(TO_NUMBER(e.value) * TO_NUMBER(f.value) *
g.undo_block_per_sec) / (1024*1024)
"NEEDED UNDO SIZE [MByte]"
FROM (
SELECT SUM(a.bytes) undo_size
FROM v$datafile a,
v$tablespace b,
dba_tablespaces c
WHERE c.contents = 'UNDO'
AND c.status = 'ONLINE'
AND b.name = c.tablespace_name
AND a.ts# = b.ts#
) d,
v$parameter e,
v$parameter f,
(
SELECT MAX(undoblks/((end_time-begin_time)*3600*24))
undo_block_per_sec
FROM v$undostat
) g
WHERE e.name = 'undo_retention'
AND f.name = 'db_block_size'
/

checking long operations in Oracle RAC

#longopsrac.sql#
#--------------#
SELECT s.sid,
s.serial#,
s.machine,
TRUNC(sl.elapsed_seconds/60) || ':' || MOD(sl.elapsed_seconds,60) elapsed,
TRUNC(sl.time_remaining/60) || ':' || MOD(sl.time_remaining,60) remaining,
ROUND(sl.sofar/sl.totalwork*100, 2) progress_pct
FROM gv$session s,
gv$session_longops sl
WHERE s.sid = sl.sid
AND s.serial# = sl.serial#
AND s.inst_id = sl.inst_id
AND sl.sofar < sl.totalwork
;

View RMAN jobs in Oracle

set lines 150 pages 30000
col ins format a10
col outs format a10
col TIME_TAKEN_DISPLAY format a10
select SESSION_KEY,
OPTIMIZED,
COMPRESSION_RATIO,input_type,
INPUT_BYTES_PER_SEC_DISPLAY ins,
OUTPUT_BYTES_PER_SEC_DISPLAY outs,
TIME_TAKEN_DISPLAY,to_char(START_TIME,'mm/dd/yy hh24:mi') start_time,
to_char(END_TIME,'mm/dd/yy hh24:mi') end_time,elapsed_seconds/3600 hrs
,status
from V$RMAN_BACKUP_JOB_DETAILS
order by session_key;

select output
from v$rman_output
where session_key = &session_key
order by recid;

@longopsrac

Views on Flashback Area Usage in Oracle

alter session set nls_date_format='DD-MON-YYYY HH24:MI:ss';
col OLDEST_FLASHBACK_SCN for 999999999999999
col name for a80
set lines 140 pages 3000

select name,SPACE_LIMIT/1024/1024 limit_mb,SPACE_USED/1024/1024 used_mb,round((SPACE_USED/SPACE_LIMIT)*100,2) percent_usage from V$RECOVERY_FILE_DEST;

select * from V$FLASH_RECOVERY_AREA_USAGE;

select estimated_flashback_size,flashback_size,oldest_flashback_scn,oldest_flashback_time from v$flashback_database_log;

SELECT * FROM gv$flashback_database_stat;

set heading off

select '---------------' from dual;
select 'Flashback usage' from dual;
select '---------------' from dual;

set heading on

@/home/casenaem/flash_back_free.sql

set heading off

select '---------------' from dual;
select 'Restore Points' from dual;
select '---------------' from dual;

set heading on

select * from V$RESTORE_POINT;

check Library Cache Lock in Oracle

select decode(lob.kglobtyp, 0, 'NEXT OBJECT', 1, 'INDEX', 2, 'TABLE', 3, 'CLUSTER',
4, 'VIEW', 5, 'SYNONYM', 6, 'SEQUENCE',
7, 'PROCEDURE', 8, 'FUNCTION', 9, 'PACKAGE',
11, 'PACKAGE BODY', 12, 'TRIGGER',
13, 'TYPE', 14, 'TYPE BODY',
19, 'TABLE PARTITION', 20, 'INDEX PARTITION', 21, 'LOB',
22, 'LIBRARY', 23, 'DIRECTORY', 24, 'QUEUE',
28, 'JAVA SOURCE', 29, 'JAVA CLASS', 30, 'JAVA RESOURCE',
32, 'INDEXTYPE', 33, 'OPERATOR',
34, 'TABLE SUBPARTITION', 35, 'INDEX SUBPARTITION',
40, 'LOB PARTITION', 41, 'LOB SUBPARTITION',
42, 'MATERIALIZED VIEW',
43, 'DIMENSION',
44, 'CONTEXT', 46, 'RULE SET', 47, 'RESOURCE PLAN',
48, 'CONSUMER GROUP',
51, 'SUBSCRIPTION', 52, 'LOCATION',
55, 'XML SCHEMA', 56, 'JAVA DATA',
57, 'SECURITY PROFILE', 59, 'RULE',
62, 'EVALUATION CONTEXT',
'UNDEFINED') object_type,
lob.KGLNAOBJ object_name,
pn.KGLPNMOD lock_mode_held,
pn.KGLPNREQ lock_mode_requested,
ses.sid,
ses.serial#,
ses.username
FROM
x$kglpn pn,
v$session ses,
x$kglob lob,
v$session_wait vsw
WHERE
pn.KGLPNUSE = ses.saddr and
pn.KGLPNHDL = lob.KGLHDADR
and lob.kglhdadr = vsw.p1raw
and vsw.event = 'library cache pin'
order by lock_mode_held desc
/

Backup passwords of users in a database

select 'alter user ' || username || ' identified by values ''' || password ||''';' from dba_users order by username;

Check Session Details in Oracle

set pages 49999
set lines 300
col PID for a7
col SID for 9999999999
col ser# for a7
col box for a29
col status for a9
col username for a20
col os_user for a12
col program for a25
col LOGON_TIME for a14
col module for a14
col machine for a10
select b.status as status,sql_hash_value,prev_hash_value,module,machine,
to_char(a.spid) as pid, to_char(b.sid) as sid, to_char(b.serial#) as "ser#", substr(b.machine,1,25) as box, b.username as username,
b.osuser as os_user, b.program program, to_char(b.LOGON_TIME,'dd-mon hh24:mi') LOGON_TIME from v$session b, v$process a where
b.paddr = a.addr
and type='USER'
and b.sid in (&session_id)
order by 3;

SET LINESIZE 500
SET PAGESIZE 1000
SET VERIFY OFF
col SQL_TEXT for a100

SELECT b.sid,a.sql_text
FROM v$sqltext_with_newlines a,
v$session b
WHERE a.address = b.sql_address
AND a.hash_value = b.sql_hash_value
AND b.sid in (&session_id)
ORDER BY b.sid,a.piece;

PROMPT
SET PAGESIZE 14

Waiting sessions in Oracle database

col wait_status for a30
col event for a40
set lines 170 pages 3000
SELECT sid, serial#, spid, username, event, wait_status, wait_time_milli
FROM(
SELECT s.inst_id AS inst_id,
s.indx AS sid,
se.ksuseser AS serial#,
-- spid from v$process
p.ksuprpid AS spid,
-- columns from v$session
se.ksuudlna AS username,
decode(bitand(se.ksuseidl,11),1,'ACTIVE',0,
decode(bitand(se.ksuseflg,4096),0,'INACTIVE','CACHED'),2,'SNIPED',3,
'SNIPED', 'KILLED') AS status,
decode(ksspatyp,1,'DEDICATED',2,'SHARED',3,'PSEUDO','NONE') AS server,
se.ksuseunm AS osuser,
se.ksusepid AS process,
se.ksusemnm AS machine,
se.ksusetid AS terminal,
se.ksusepnm AS program,
decode(bitand(se.ksuseflg,19),17,'BACKGROUND',1,'USER',2,'RECURSIVE','?') AS type,
se.ksusesqh AS sql_hash_value,
se.ksusepha AS prev_hash_value,
se.ksuseapp AS module,
se.ksuseact AS action,
se.ksuseclid AS client_identifier,
se.ksuseobj AS row_wait_obj#,
se.ksusefil AS row_wait_file#,
se.ksuseblk AS row_wait_block#,
se.ksuseslt AS row_wait_row#,
se.ksuseltm AS logon_time,
se.ksusegrp AS resource_consumer_group,
s.ksussseq AS seq#,
e.kslednam AS event,
e.ksledp1 AS p1text,
s.ksussp1 AS p1,
s.ksussp1r AS p1raw,
e.ksledp2 AS p2text,
s.ksussp2 AS p2,
s.ksussp2r AS p2raw,
e.ksledp3 AS p3text,
s.ksussp3 AS p3,
s.ksussp3r AS p3raw,
decode(s.ksusstim,
-2, 'WAITED UNKNOWN TIME',
-1,'LAST WAIT < 1 microsecond', -- originally WAITED SHORT TIME
0,'CURRENTLY WAITING SINCE '|| s.ksusewtm || 's',
'LAST WAIT ' || s.ksusstim/1000 || ' ms (' ||
s.ksusewtm || 's ago)') wait_status,
to_number(decode(s.ksusstim,0,NULL,-1,NULL,-2,NULL, s.ksusstim/1000))
AS wait_time_milli
from x$ksusecst s, x$ksled e , x$ksuse se, x$ksupr p
where bitand(s.ksspaflg,1)!=0
and bitand(s.ksuseflg,1)!=0
and s.ksussseq!=0
and s.ksussopc=e.indx
and s.indx=se.indx
and se.ksusepro=p.addr
and e.kslednam != 'SQL*Net message from client'
and e.kslednam != 'Streams AQ: waiting for messages in the queue'
and e.kslednam != 'rdbms ipc message'
and e.kslednam != 'Streams AQ: waiting for time management or cleanup tasks'
and e.kslednam != 'Streams AQ: qmn coordinator idle wait'
);

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Response Time Analysis Made Easy in Oracle Database 10g

Historically, in trying to achieve maximum database performance, Oracle DBAs and performance analysts have fought an uphill battle to obtain solid response time metrics for system as well as user session activity. The problem facing DBAs has always had two facets: first, determining exactly "where" the database or user sessions have been spending their time; and second, determining the objective nature of the user experience.

Response Time Analysis Made Easy in Oracle Database 10g

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Sunday, August 23, 2009

GMANews.TV - Hello, Palace? OPS attention called over P5-M phone bill - Nation - Official Website of GMA News and Public Affairs - Latest Philippine News

GMANews.TV - Hello, Palace? OPS attention called over P5-M phone bill - Nation - Official Website of GMA News and Public Affairs - Latest Philippine News

“Kung titingnan daw talaga natin, yung P5 million na cellular phone bill over a period of one year for an information and communications office like the OPS is not really big. Yung mga long distance calls…mga interviews, it really racked up costs," said Remonde in a recent interview with reporters.

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Sunday, August 09, 2009

Unix/Linux script to check Oracle standby database

#!/bin/ksh
#Author: Emmanuel Caseñas
#Note: this will give you a wealth of information for your standby database
################################################################################

$ORACLE_HOME/bin/sqlplus -s '/ as sysdba'<set lines 200 pages 2000
select * from v\$archive_gap;
select maX(sequence#),applied,registrar from V\$archived_log group by applied,registrar;
select PROCESS,PID,SEQUENCE#,BLOCK#,BLOCKS,STATUS from v\$managed_standby;
select NAME,DATABASE_ROLE,PROTECTION_MODE,PROTECTION_LEVEL,SWITCHOVER_STATUS from V\$database;
SELECT le.leseq "Current log sequence No",
100*cp.cpodr_bno/le.lesiz "Percent Full",
cp.cpodr_bno "Current Block No",
le.lesiz "Size of Log in Blocks"
FROM x\$kcccp cp, x\$kccle le
WHERE le.leseq =CP.cpodr_seq
AND bitand(le.leflg,24) = 8;
archive log list
exit
!
bd=`echo ${CLUSTER_HOME}/admin/${SID}/bdump`
ll=`grep "^Media Recovery Log" $bd/al*.log | tail -1 |awk -F"/" '{print $NF}'`
lw=`grep "^Media Recovery Waiting for" $bd/al*.log | tail -1 | awk '{print $NF}'`
echo "Latest Log Applied: $ll"
echo "Waiting for Log: $lw"

Check tablespace ts_details.sql

set lines 300
col "Data File" for a75
variable ts_name varchar2(100);
exec :ts_name := '&&tablespace_name';
SELECT /* + RULE */ df.tablespace_name "Tablespace",
df.bytes / (1024 * 1024) "Size (Mb)",max(fs.bytes) / (1024 * 1024) "Max Chunk Avail",
SUM(fs.bytes) / (1024 * 1024) "Free (Mb)",
Nvl(Round(SUM(fs.bytes) * 100 / df.bytes),1) "% Free",
Round((df.bytes - SUM(fs.bytes)) * 100 / df.bytes) "% Used",autoextensible
FROM dba_free_space fs,
(SELECT tablespace_name,SUM(bytes) bytes,autoextensible
FROM dba_data_files
GROUP BY tablespace_name,autoextensible) df
WHERE fs.tablespace_name (+) = df.tablespace_name
and df.tablespace_name = :ts_name
GROUP BY df.tablespace_name,df.bytes,autoextensible;
select file_name "Data File",bytes/1024/1024 "Size",status from dba_data_files where tablespace_name = :ts_name;
set pages 3000
spool /tmp/tmp.sql
set heading off
set term off
select '!ls -lrt ' || file_name ||'|'|| 'awk ''{print $9,$10,$11}''' from dba_data_files where tablespace_name = :ts_name;
spool off
set heading on
set term on
@/tmp/tmp.sql

Adding a datafile after the flashback database is on

1)enable flashback database in your database

*assuming you database is no in archivelog mode else skip this task*

ENABLE ARCHIVELOG MODE
----------------------
SQL> shutdown immediate;
Database closed.
Database dismounted.
ORACLE instance shut down.
SQL> startup mount;
ORACLE instance started.

Total System Global Area 671088640 bytes
Fixed Size 2043008 bytes
Variable Size 356520832 bytes
Database Buffers 310378496 bytes
Redo Buffers 2146304 bytes
Database mounted.
SQL> alter database archivelog;

Database altered.

CREATE A DIRECTORY FOR FLASHBACK AREA
-------------------------------------
UNIX> mkdir -p /sbcdump/01/oradumps/EMINUS/flashback_area

CONFIGURE FLASHBACK
-------------------

SQL> ALTER SYSTEM SET DB_FLASHBACK_RETENTION_TARGET=4320 scope=spfile;

System altered.

SQL> alter system set db_recovery_file_dest='/sbcdump/01/oradumps/EMINUS/flashback_area' scope=spfile;

System altered.

SQL> alter system set db_recovery_file_dest_size=10g scope=both;

System altered.

SQL> shutdown immediate;

TURN FLASHBACK DATABASE ON
--------------------------

SQL> alter database mount;

Database altered.

SQL> alter database flashback on;

Database altered.

SQL> alter database open;

Database altered.

ADD DATAFILE
------------

SQL> alter system switch logfile;

System altered.

SQL> /

System altered.

SQL> /

System altered.

SQL> set numwidth 30

alter session set nls_date_format='dd-mon-yyyy hh24:mi:ss';

SQL> SELECT OLDEST_FLASHBACK_SCN, OLDEST_FLASHBACK_TIME
FROM V$FLASHBACK_DATABASE_LOG;

OLDEST_FLASHBACK_SCN OLDEST_FLASHBACK_TIM
------------------------------ --------------------
9205819379813 09-aug-2009 16:59:32

SQL> @/home/casenaem/ts_details -- this is my script to check on a tablespace
Enter value for tablespace_name: USERS

PL/SQL procedure successfully completed.

Tablespace Size (Mb) Max Chunk Avail Free (Mb) % Free % Used AUT
------------------------------ ---------- --------------- ---------- ---------- ---------- ---
USERS 500 499.6875 499.6875 100 0 NO

Data File Size STATUS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------- ---------
/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_users_01.dbf 500 AVAILABLE

SQL> alter tablespace users
2 add datafile '/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_users_02.dbf' size 10m;

Tablespace altered.

SQL> @/home/casenaem/ts_details

PL/SQL procedure successfully completed.

Tablespace Size (Mb) Max Chunk Avail Free (Mb) % Free % Used AUT
------------------------------ ---------- --------------- ---------- ---------- ---------- ---
USERS 510 499.6875 509.375 100 0 NO

Data File Size STATUS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------- ---------
/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_users_01.dbf 500 AVAILABLE
/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_users_02.dbf 10 AVAILABLE

SQL> alter system switch logfile;

System altered.

SQL> /

System altered.

SQL> /

System altered.

SQL> /

System altered.

SQL> /

System altered.

SQL> SELECT CURRENT_SCN FROM V$DATABASE;

CURRENT_SCN
------------------------------
9205819381790

SQL> SELECT OLDEST_FLASHBACK_SCN, OLDEST_FLASHBACK_TIME
FROM V$FLASHBACK_DATABASE_LOG;
2
OLDEST_FLASHBACK_SCN OLDEST_FL
------------------------------ ---------
9205819379813 09-AUG-09

FLASHBACK THE DATABASE TO THE OLDEST_FLASHBACK_SCN
--------------------------------------------------

SQL> shutdown immediate;
Database closed.
Database dismounted.
ORACLE instance shut down.
SQL> startup mount;
ORACLE instance started.

Total System Global Area 671088640 bytes
Fixed Size 2043008 bytes
Variable Size 356520832 bytes
Database Buffers 310378496 bytes
Redo Buffers 2146304 bytes
Database mounted.
SQL> FLASHBACK DATABASE TO SCN 9205819379813;

Flashback complete.

SQL> alter database open read only;

Database altered.

SQL> @/home/casenaem/ts_details

PL/SQL procedure successfully completed.

Tablespace Size (Mb) Max Chunk Avail Free (Mb) % Free % Used AUT
------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ---
USERS 500 499.6875 499.6875 100 0 NO

Data File Size STATUS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------ ---------
/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_users_01.dbf 500 AVAILABLE

Note:
As you can see that oracle will delete the file from dictionary,controlfile and the physical file

*Now if you want to recover the database before you executed flashback database*

SQL> shutdown immediate;
Database closed.
Database dismounted.
ORACLE instance shut down.
SQL> startup mount;
ORACLE instance started.

Total System Global Area 671088640 bytes
Fixed Size 2043008 bytes
Variable Size 356520832 bytes
Database Buffers 310378496 bytes
Redo Buffers 2146304 bytes
Database mounted.
SQL> recover database;
ORA-00279: change 9205819379814 generated at 08/09/2009 16:40:19 needed for thread 1
ORA-00289: suggestion : /sbclocal/app/oracle/admin/EMINUS/arch/EMINUS_0001_0000000017_0694319678.arc
ORA-00280: change 9205819379814 for thread 1 is in sequence #17

Specify log: {=suggested | filename | AUTO | CANCEL}
AUTO
ORA-00279: change 9205819380249 generated at 08/09/2009 17:09:55 needed for thread 1
ORA-00289: suggestion : /sbclocal/app/oracle/admin/EMINUS/arch/EMINUS_0001_0000000018_0694319678.arc
ORA-00280: change 9205819380249 for thread 1 is in sequence #18
ORA-00278: log file '/sbclocal/app/oracle/admin/EMINUS/arch/EMINUS_0001_0000000017_0694319678.arc' no longer needed for this recovery

.......
........
..........

ORA-00283: recovery session canceled due to errors
ORA-01244: unnamed datafile(s) added to control file by media recovery
ORA-01110: data file 6: '/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_users_02.dbf'

ORA-01112: media recovery not started

SQL> select count(1) from v$datafile_header where fuzzy = 'YES';

COUNT(1)
------------------------------
5

SQL> select name from v$datafile;

NAME
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
/sbcdata/03/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_system_01.dbf
/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_undo1_01.dbf
/sbcdata/01/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_sysaux_01.dbf
/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_tools_01.dbf
/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_users_01.dbf
/sbclocal/app/oracle/product/10.2.0.4/dbs/UNNAMED00006

6 rows selected.

SQL> !ls -l /sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_users_02.dbf
/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_users_02.dbf: No such file or directory

SQL> !ls -l /sbclocal/app/oracle/product/10.2.0.4/dbs/UNNAMED00006
/sbclocal/app/oracle/product/10.2.0.4/dbs/UNNAMED00006: No such file or directory

SQL> alter database create datafile '/sbclocal/app/oracle/product/10.2.0.4/dbs/UNNAMED00006' as '/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_users_02.dbf' size 10M;

Database altered.

SQL> select name from v$datafile;

NAME
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
/sbcdata/03/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_system_01.dbf
/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_undo1_01.dbf
/sbcdata/01/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_sysaux_01.dbf
/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_tools_01.dbf
/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_users_01.dbf
/sbcdata/04/oradata/EMINUS/EMINUS_users_02.dbf

6 rows selected.

SQL> recover database;
ORA-00279: change 9205819381724 generated at 08/09/2009 17:41:53 needed for thread 1
ORA-00289: suggestion : /sbclocal/app/oracle/admin/EMINUS/arch/EMINUS_0001_0000000022_0694319678.arc
ORA-00280: change 9205819381724 for thread 1 is in sequence #22

Specify log: {=suggested | filename | AUTO | CANCEL}
aUTO
ORA-00279: change 9205819381766 generated at 08/09/2009 17:42:51 needed for thread 1
ORA-00289: suggestion : /sbclocal/app/oracle/admin/EMINUS/arch/EMINUS_0001_0000000023_0694319678.arc
ORA-00280: change 9205819381766 for thread 1 is in sequence #23
ORA-00278: log file '/sbclocal/app/oracle/admin/EMINUS/arch/EMINUS_0001_0000000022_0694319678.arc' no longer needed for this recovery

....
......
.......

Log applied.
Media recovery complete.
SQL> alter database open;

Database altered.

Note: Since Oracle has removed the physical file when I did a flashback you need to create it yourself in order for the recovery to conitnue

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Meralco planning internet over power lines in the Philippines

While the concept of channeling the internet over power lines is far from new, it has yet to be implemented in any significant manner. If a top power distributor in the Philippines has its druthers, however, all that will change in the not-too-distant future. Manila Electric Company, better known as Meralco, is gearing up to use its power lines to bring broadband internet to more of the country, which currently sees just 20 million out of its 90 million inhabitants with access. In fact, the company has already made clear that it is "set to implement the pilot test," with the results guiding it in "determining scope and coverage of the project." Come to think of it, we've got a few dollars to spend on a rural broadband initiative here in the States. Hmm...

read more

Monday, July 13, 2009

Microsoft VP on Chrome OS: “Most of What Google Does Is Defensive"

Microsoft's Vice President of Developer and Platform Evangelism, Walid Abu-Hadba, explained in an interview what he thinks Google's real motivation for creating the Chrome OS might be, and according to him, it's not out of love for the consumer.

click me for more of this issue

Monday, April 27, 2009

Microsoft Could Be a Winner in Sun-Oracle Deal

Microsoft Could Be a Winner in Sun-Oracle Deal

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Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Church Sayings

Church Parking Lot Sign: "FOR MEMBERS ONLY. Tresspassers will be baptized."
"No God-No Peace... Know God-Know Peace."
"Free Trip to Heaven... Details Inside!"
Try out Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."
"Wanting for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"
An ad for one church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
When the resturant next to a church put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."
A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the preformance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, "Resurrection is postponed."
People are like tea bags-you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.
"God so loved the world that He did not send a committee."
"Come in and pray today. Beat the Christian rush!"
"When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right."
"Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday."
"Right truth decay-study the Bible daily."
How will you spend eternity-Smoking or Non-smoking?"
"Dusty Bible leads to Dirty Lives."
"Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."
"It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."
"Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."
"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."
"If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."
"Looking at the way some people love, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."
"This is a Ch_ _ch. What is missing?" (U R)
"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."
"In the dark? Follow the Son."
"Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up."
"If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."
If you pause to think-- You'll have cause to thank!
As sure as God puts his children in the furnace, He will be in the furnace with them.
God won't be looking for your medals, degrees or diplomas--, He'll be looking for your scars.
Give God what's right--, not what's left!
Trade God your pieces for His peace.
When you get tired talking to your friends about God--, talk to God about your friends.
It's hard to stumble when you're on your knees.
"Will the road you're on get you to my place?"....God
'Pray' is a four letter word that you can say anywhere (except in a public school).
Make your eternal reservations now--- 'smoking' or 'non-smoking'?
Jesus built us a bridge, with 2 boards and 3 nails.
Count your blessings! Recounts are OK---
Don't be God's weakest link!
It's not the outlook-- it's the uplook that counts!
He who sows sparingly will reap sparingly.
They see our methods, He sees our motives.
Plenty of folks give the Lord credit-- few give Him cash!
Finding hell is easy ! It's at the end of a 'Christ-less' life.
The greatest of evils is our indifference towards evil!
If you cheat on the test, don't thank the Lord for the "A".
Count your blessings, not your problems.
If you can't sleep, don't count sheep; talk to the Shepherd.
Good old knee-ology is as good as some theology.
A good place for the "buck to stop" is at the collection plate.
In this life it's not what you have but Who you have that counts!
A hypocrite is a person who's not himself on Sunday.
Money is a great servant but a terrible master!
God gives every bird its' food, but He does not throw it into its nest.
He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all.
God made round faces; man makes 'em long.
Honesty is not only the best policy, it is the will of GOD!
What does it take for God to get our attention?
There are many things in my life for which I am ashamed, but Jesus is not one of them.
You can't walk with God and hold hands with Satan at the same time.
Faith is a journey, not a destination.
Jesus never taught how to preach--- only how to pray.
Jesus declared the truth; He never gave opinions.
When was the last time you told God you love Him? He is still listening.
We are as full of the Holy Spirit as we want to be.
We need to seek God Himself more than His gifts.
We become like what we worship.
Sin will keep you from the Bible but the Bible can keep you from sin.
Give Satan an inch and he'll be a ruler.
A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit....Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.Mat 7:18&20NIV
The Bread of life never gets stale.
Knowledge puffs you up-- Love lifts you up.
Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death.
For all you do, His blood's for you!
Big Bang theory-- God Spoke and "Bang!" It happened--
Christians aren't perfect-- Just forgiven.
"I'm a fool for Christ-- Who's fool are you?"
Would you rather trust a guy who wrote a book--- or the One who wrote The Book?
Into each life a little rain must fall-- Who's your umbrella?
T.G.I.F.-- Thank God I'm Forgiven.
Forbidden fruits creates many jams.
If you're looking for a sign from God to get back to church, this is it! (seen in front of new church in Florida)
A wise child hears his Father's instruction.
GOD IS
Be quiet enough to hear God's whisper.
It's good to be saved and know it! It's also good to be saved and show it!
Help is just a prayer away.
Be an organ donor--- give your heart to Jesus!
If you walk with the Lord, you'll never be out of step.
Jesus! Don't leave earth without Him!
Jesus Christ-- He paid the price!
Christ's return is near-- Don't miss it for the world!
Don't sway or turn away from the old commandments. They're still new today.
An early walk and talk with the Lord will last all day.
Hate is not a family value.
Be ye fishers of men. You catch them-- He will clean them.
Deciding not to choose is still making a choice.
Where death finds you, eternity will keep you.
PSALMS read here.
Things that are not eternal are already out of date. C.S.Lewis
The wages of sin have never been reduced.
The Bible isn't antique or modern, it's eternal.
Seven days without prayer makes one weak.
Patience is a virtue which carries a lot of wait.
Firefighters rescue, only Jesus saves.
May we live simply so that others may simply live.
TITHE! Anyone can honk!
Don't let troubles get you down-- except on your knees.
Only God can give all of Himself to everyone.
How do you make a good day better? Make it a Godly day.
Only one life, 'twill soon be past-- Only what's done for Christ will last.
Things that please are temporary. Things that disturb are temporary. Things that are important are eternal.
Who is Jesus Christ? Inquire within---
Jesus is returning...resistance is futile
Can't follow the stars? Follow the One who made them.
If you think you are perfect-- Try walking on water.
We are not on this earth to get rich, we are on earth to be enriched.
...it is not our culture to sin, it is our nature to sin; and only GOD will change
that nature.
If your knees are knocking-- kneel on 'em!
Give your troubles to God--- He never slumbers nor sleeps anyway.
It only take a few moments to open deep wounds-- but it takes years to heal them.
Christ traded in the comfort of the manger for the cruelty of the cross.
If you don't like the devil's fruit, stay out of his orchard.
You can't compromise and conquer sin at the same time.
WARNING! In case of rapture, this car will be unmanned.
I would rather walk with God in the dark than go alone in the light.
Without Jesus in your life you have no life. With Jesus in your life you have eternal life......It's your choice.
When it comes time to die--- make sure all you have to do is die.
Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonalds makes you a hamburger.
There are two things I've learned: There is a God! And I'm not Him!
TODAY IS A GIFT FROM GOD. THAT'S WHY IT IS CALLED "THE PRESENT"
If you're ready to die--- you're ready to live!
If you can't be an "Onward Christian Soldier", at least don't pass the ammunition to the enemy.
God doesn't call us to be successful--- only faithful.
Even Jesus had a fish story.
God's laughter is heard in the song of birds.
A beautiful day starts with a beautiful thought.
God without man is still God. Man without God is nothing.
The key to Heaven was hung on a nail.
Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love covers all offences. Proverbs 10:12
Sow a seed of friendship, reap a bouquet of happiness.
Does your spiritual house need spring cleaning?
Service is love in overalls!
My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.1 John 3:18
Where will you spend eternity?

a) Here
b) Heaven
c) Hell
d) Not sure?
Is that your final answer?

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Engineer VS MBA

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition organized in Britain...Enjoy!
An MBA and an Engineer go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend.
"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see?The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."
The Engineer asks "What does that tell you?"
The MBA ponders for a minute:
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
"Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?
"The Engineer friend is silent for a moment, and then speaks:
"Practically...it tells me that someone has stolen our tent

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Top New Features for DBAs and Developers Oracle 11g

Oracle Database 11g:
The Top New Features for DBAs and Developers
by Arup Nanda Oracle ACE Director

In this multipart series, learn how important new features such as Database Replay, Flashback Data Archive, and SecureFiles work via simple, actionable how-to's and sample code.

Change, although constantly present, is seldom risk-free. Even if the change is relatively minor (creating an index for example), your goal is probably to predict its precise impact as accurately as possible and then take appropriate action

Many new change assurance (or "Real Application Testing," as Oracle calls it) features in Oracle Database 11g bring that dream closer to reality. The Database Replay tool, for example, allows you to capture production database workload and replay it in a test (or even the same) database to assess the impact of change. Or consider SQL Performance Analyzer, which predicts the performance impact of changes to SQL before they are made. In my opinion, this Real Application Testing functionality alone justifies the upgrade.

Overall, Oracle Database 11g makes database infrastructure far more efficient, resilient, and manageable. For example, very compelling new features in the realm of partitioning ease the design and management of partitioned tables immensely.

In this series (as in the previous series focusing on Oracle Database 10g), you will learn how these new features work via simple, actionable how-to's and sample code.

Enjoy the series, and the release!

Database Replay

Explore Database Replay, the new tool that captures SQL statements and lets you replay them at will.

Partitioning

Learn about Referential, Internal, and Virtual Column partitioning; new sub-partitioning options; and more.
Transaction Management

Get an introduction to Flashback Data Archive and explore Enterprise Manager's LogMiner interface.

Schema Management

Add columns with a default value easily and explore invisible indexes, virtual columns, and read only tables.
SQL Plan Management

Use bind variables that pick the right plan every time and ensure a new execution plan is perfect before it's used.

SQL Performance Analyzer

Accurately assess the impact of rewriting of SQL statements and get suggested improvements.
SQL Access Advisor

Get advice about optimal table design based on actual use of the table, not just data.

PL/SQL: Efficient Coding

Triggers that fire several times at different events and ability to force triggers of the same type to follow a sequence are some new gems.
RMAN

Explore Data Recovery Advisor, do parallel backup of the same file, and create and manage virtual catalogs.

Security

Learn about Tablespace Encryption, case-sensitive passwords, data masking, and other features.
Automatic Storage Management

Learn about new SYSASM role, variable extent sizes, and other ASM improvements.

Manageability

Explore automatic memory management, multicolumn statistics, online patching, and more features.
Caching and Pooling

Explore SQL Result Cache, PL/SQL Function Cache, and Database Resident Connection Pooling.

SQL Operations: Pivot and Unpivot

Present information in a spreadsheet-type crosstab report from any relational table using simple SQL, and store any data from a crosstab table to a relational table.
SecureFiles

Explore next-generation LOBs: LOB encryption, compression, deduplication, and asynchronicity.

Resiliency

Explore Automatic Health Monitor, Automatic Diagnostic Repository, and other new resiliency features.
Data Guard

Query the physical standby database in real time without shutting down recovery, just for starters.

PL/SQL Performance

Explore in-lining of code, "real" native compilation, PLS timer, use of simple integer, and more.
Data Warehousing

Get a tour of some new features for data warehousing. [Coming soon]

And Don't Forget...

COPY command, Export/Imports, Data Pump improvements, and more. [Coming soon]

Premier Developer Conference for Java, SOA, Web 2.0, and SQL

Don't miss Oracle Develop, the premier developer program, at Oracle OpenWorld 2008! Hear and learn from world-leading experts and your peers about next-generation development trends and technologies for service-oriented architecture (SOA), Extreme Transaction Processing (XTP), virtualization, and Web 2.0. Advance your skills and expand your knowledge in scores of expert-led, in-depth technical sessions and advanced how-tos on Java, .Net, XML, SCA, PL/SQL, Ajax, PHP, Spring, Groovy on Rails, and more. And roll up your sleeves for in-depth, hands-on labs covering the very latest development technologies including database, SOA, Complex Event Processing (CEP), Java, and .NET.

Since its launch in 2006, Oracle Develop has grown both in size and attendance, with additional tracks on the latest development trends in the industry. Thousands of developers attend Oracle Develop each year, and 2008 promises to be the biggest program so far. Based on popular demand, we have extended the conference by adding an additional day this year to include more sessions and hands-on labs. And, as an Oracle Develop attendee, you also get access to OTN Night, Oracle OpenWorld Exhibition Halls, and keynotes.

* When: Sunday, September 21, 10:30 a.m. to 4:45 p.m.
Monday, September 22, 10:15 a.m. to 6:30 p.m.
Tuesday, September 23, 9:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m.
* Where: San Francisco Marriott

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Top Ten Math Major Pick-Up Lines

10. You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
9. Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity or time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.
8. My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.
7. Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.
6. Wanna come back to my room....and see my 733mhz Pentium?
5. You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum.
4. Your body has the nicest arc length I've ever seen.
3. I wish I was your derivative because then I would be tangent to your curves.
2. I hope you know set theory because I want to intersect you and union you.
1. Would you like to see my log?

Top Ten Reasons to Become a Statistician

10. Deviation is considered normal.
9. We feel complete and sufficient.
8. We are mean lovers.
7. Statisticians do it discretely and continuously.
6. We are right 95% of the time.
5. We can safely comment on someone's posterior distribution.
4. We may not be normal but we are transformable.
3. We never have to say we are certain.
2. We are honestly significantly different.
1. No one wants our jobs.

Definitions of Terms Commonly Used in Math

CLEARLY: I don't want to write down all the in-between steps.

TRIVIAL: If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class.

OBVIOUSLY: I hope you weren't sleeping when we discussed this earlier, because I refuse to repeat it.

RECALL: I shouldn't have to tell you this, but for those of you who erase your memory tapes after every test, here it is again.

WITHOUT LOSS OF GENERALITY: I'm not about to do all the possible cases, so I'll do one and let you figure out the rest.

ONE MAY SHOW: One did, his name was Gauss.

IT IS WELL KNOWN: See "Mathematische Zeitschrift'', vol XXXVI, 1892.

CHECK FOR YOURSELF: This is the boring part of the proof, so you can do it on your own time.

SKETCH OF A PROOF: I couldn't verify the details, so I'll break it down into parts I couldn't prove.

HINT: The hardest of several possible ways to do a proof.

BRUTE FORCE: Four special cases, three counting arguments, two long inductions, and a partridge in a pair tree.

SOFT PROOF: One third less filling (of the page) than your regular proof, but it requires two extra years of course work just to understand the terms.

ELEGANT PROOF: Requires no previous knowledge of the subject, and is less than ten lines long.

SIMILARLY: At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as before.

CANONICAL FORM: 4 out of 5 mathematicians surveyed recommended this as the final form for the answer.

THE FOLLOWING ARE EQUIVALENT: If I say this it means that, and if I say that it means the other thing, and if I say the other thing...

BY A PREVIOUS THEOREM: I don't remember how it goes (come to think of it, I'm not really sure we did this at all), but if I stated it right, then the rest of this follows.

TWO LINE PROOF: I'll leave out everything but the conclusion.

BRIEFLY: I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster.

LET'S TALK THROUGH IT: I don't want to write it on the board because I'll make a mistake.

PROCEED FORMALLY: Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning.

QUANTIFY: I can't find anything wrong with your proof except that it won't work if x is 0.

FINALLY: Only ten more steps to go...

Q.E.D. : T.G.I.F.

PROOF OMITTED: Trust me, it's true.

Top 10 Excuses for Not Turning in Math Homework

10. It's Isaac Newton's birthday.
9. I couldn't decide whether i is the square root of -1 or i are the square root of -1.
8. I accidently divided by 0 and my paper burst into flames.
7. It's stuck inside a Klein bottle.
6. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook.
5. I had too much pi and got sick.
4. Someone already published it, so I didn't bother to write it up.
3. A four-dimensional dog ate it.
2. I have a solar calculator and it was cloudy.
1. There wasn't enough room to write it in the margin.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

MSSQL 2005 number 1 in what??????????????

I have seen this ad in their website and boy was I astonished...I never knew that MS SQL Server 2008 is number 1 in the enterprise database...have a look at their banner

apparently this is the article that they are saying...well...

SQL Server Still No. 1 in Databases
BZ Research study finds that 75 percent of enterprises use it
By Alan Zeichick

July 31, 2007 — Microsoft SQL Server is still No.1. According to the 2007 Database and Data Access, Integration and Reporting Study, completed by BZ Research in late June, 74.7 percent of enterprises are using SQL Server. This is slightly lower than the 76.4 percent reported in a comparable July 2006 study, but it’s still significantly higher than the other popular databases.

BZ Research, like SD Times, is a subsidiary of BZ Media. This survey, conducted during the second half of June, was completed by 686 software development managers.

The study showed that the other top databases, in terms of use, are Oracle (54.5 percent in 2007, up from 51.3 percent in 2006), Microsoft Access (54.4 percent, down from 56.1 percent), MySQL (43.4 percent, up from 38.5 percent), IBM DB2 (23.5 percent, up from 20.4 percent) and PostgreSQL (11.2 percent, down from 11.6 percent). All other databases had less than 10 percent responses.

One Microsoft user in this anonymous survey said, “SQL Server is much, much easier to use with ADO.NET than Oracle is at the moment. If Oracle ever addresses this, then we might be able to utilize Oracle more in the future.” Another commented, “Oracle is perceived as requiring a ‘Priesthood’ to program, configure and run. SQL Server is just another tool and is integrated with Visual Studio.” A third said, “SQL Server is more than adequate for our needs, easy to administer, works well with Visual Studio and runs fine on an x86 server. It is our standard for most in-house deployments. A lot of our third-party vendors use it too.”

Not everyone, of course, uses SQL Server: “We’re a major corporation and Oracle is a de facto standard for enterprise computing (along with IBM DB2). Microsoft SQL Server, though we use it, is not industrial strength.” Another added, “IBM is much easier to work with than Oracle in terms of tech support and sales.”

And sometimes it just depends: “We develop J2EE and .NET applications, SQL Server from Microsoft is everywhere in the small to mid customers, Oracle is in the large customers. When we sell applications we need to deploy apps that already mesh with existing databases.” Another said, “MySQL has been started to test as alternative to Oracle.”

Sybase had its fans and critics: “Sybase is still the de facto standard on Wall Street. It practically runs itself allowing the DBA staff to take on ‘other duties as assigned,’” said one respondent. Another said, “We wish Sybase added features as quickly as MySQL would, would extend T-SQL, and implement other features commonly found in other databases. Otherwise we’ll probably leave it.”

Not all installed databases are used for new projects, but are retained as part of legacy systems. The 2007 study also asked which databases were used for the most recently completed project. For this question, SQL Server was used by 51.0 percent of projects, followed by Oracle at 37.1 percent, MySQL at 20.7 percent, Access at 14.9 percent, DB2 at 12.5 percent and PostgreSQL at 4.2 percent. All other databases had fewer than three responses.

One respondent said, “Most [databases] are legacy, but new development is to be Oracle or SQL Server.”

Choosing Familiarity
When asked why they chose a specific database for their most recent project, nearly half of all respondents—45.9 percent—said “familiarity with the database.” The other top answers were “high availability or reliability features” (21.3 percent), “lowest development costs” (20.1 percent), “lowest deployment costs” (18.6 percent), “covered under site license” (17.1 percent) and “requested by specific applications” (15.3 percent).

The lowest responses to this question were “won competitive bidding” (1.9 percent) and “lowest memory footprint requirements” (3.1 percent).

The full study, with verbatim responses, is available for purchase from BZ Research.

The Professor Teaches About Evil and Christianity

"LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"
"Yes, sir."
"So you believe in God?"
"Absolutely."
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"
"Yes."
"Are you good or evil?"
"The Bible says I'm evil."
The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"
"Yes sir, I would."
"So you're good...!"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could...in fact most of us would if we could....God doesn't."
[No answer]
"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"
[No answer]
The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. "In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones. Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"
"Er... Yes."
"Is Satan good?"
"No."
"Where does Satan come from?"
The student falters. "From... God..."
"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"
"Yes, sir."
"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?"
"Yes."
"Who created evil?"
[No answer]
"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness. All the terrible things - do they exist in this world? "
The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."
"Who created them?"
[No answer]
The professor suddenly shouts at his student, "WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!" The professor closes in for the kill and climbs into the Christian's face. In a still small voice, he asked, "God created all evil, didn't He, son?"
[No answer]
The student tries to hold the steady, experienced gaze and fails. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues, "How is it that this God is good if He created all evil throughout all time?" The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world. "All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness and all the suffering created by this good God is all over the world, isn't it, young man?"
[No answer]
"Don't you see it all over the place? Huh?" Pause. "Don't you?" The professor leans into the student's face again and
whispers, "Is God good?"
[No answer]
"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"
The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do."
The old man shakes his head sadly. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"
"No, sir. I've never seen Him."
"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"
"No, sir. I have not."
"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus... in fact, do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?"
[No answer]
"Answer me, please."
"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."
"You're AFRAID... you haven't?"
"No, sir."
"Yet you still believe in him?"
"...yes..."
"That takes FAITH!" The professor smiles sagely at the underling. "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Where is your God now?"
[The student doesn't answer]
"Sit down, please."
The first Christian sits...defeated.
Another Christian raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"
The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, yet another Christian in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering."
The Christian looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you. Is there such thing as heat?"
"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."
"Is there such a thing as cold?"
"Yes, son, there's cold too."
"No, sir, there isn't."
The professor's grin freezes. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The second Christian continues.
"You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit 273 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than -273°C. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."
Silence. A pin drops somewhere in the classroom.
"Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?"
"That's a dumb question, son. What is night if it isn't darkness? What are you getting at...?"
"So you say there is such a thing as darkness?"
"Yes..."
"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light... but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you... give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"
Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him. This will indeed be a good semester. "Would you mind telling us what your point is, young man?"
"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error...."
The professor goes toxic. "Flawed...? How dare you...!"
"Sir, may I explain what I mean?"
The class is all ears.
"Explain... ohhhhh, explain..." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddenly he is affability himself. He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue.
"You are working on the premise of duality," the Christian explains. "That for example there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but has never seen, much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it." The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it. "Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids this country hosts, professor. Is there such a thing as immorality?"
"Of course there is, now look..."
"Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as injustice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil?" The Christian pauses. "Isn't evil the absence of good?"
The professor's face has turned an alarming color. He is so angry he is temporarily speechless.
The Christian continues, "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then God, if He exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil.1 What is that work God is accomplishing? The Bible tells us it is to see if each one of us will, of our own free will, choose good over evil."2
The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't view this matter as having anything to do with any choice; as a realist, I absolutely do not recognize the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."
The Christian replies, "I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going, Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"
"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."
"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"
The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.
"Professor. Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"
"I'll overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion. Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses.
"So you don't accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?"
"I believe in what is - that's science!"
"Ahh! SCIENCE!" the student's face splits into a grin. "Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed..."
"SCIENCE IS FLAWED..?" the professor splutters.
The class is in uproar. The Christian remains standing until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?"
The professor wisely keeps silent.
The Christian looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's mind?" The class breaks out into laughter. The Christian points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's mind... felt the professor's mind, touched or smelt the professor's mind? No one appears to have done so." The Christian shakes his head sadly. "It appears no one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's mind whatsoever. Well, according to the rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science, I DECLARE that the professor has no mind."
The class is in chaos.
The Christian sits.

25 Phrases Of Wisdom

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.\

25. Your aren't wealthy until you posses something money can't buy.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Men strike back!! [Jokes]

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened when she brings it.
---------------------------------------- -------------------------! --
Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A: A woman who won't do what she's told.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
---------------------------------------- --------------- ------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------- ---------------------------------------- -------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who know this is all bull anyway !

5 Reasons Why a Developer Might Want to Become a CIO

The CIO job comes with lots of money and lots of perks. But would a software developer ever be willing to cash in his integrity and passion for programming to become a corporate wonk? Here are five compelling reasons why developers might do so.

1. It's all about the benjamins, baby.

Have you seen the money these cats make? Top information technology executives earn millions of dollars. And it's not just the cash CIOs pocket, it's the perks they get, too. Home security system to protect all their loot? Check. Personal use of the corporate jet? Check. Financial planner to funnel all that dough into off-shore, tax-free accounts?

2. It's good to be king.

Like Tom Petty and Jackie Mason say, "It's good to be king." As a CIO, you have control over the fate of an entire department. You control the priorities, salaries and indeed the future of everyone on your staff. If you want to make them come into the office on the weekend to work on their TPS reports, you can. You can also make software vendors laugh or cry with a flourish of your pen. You can spend a day on the links and call it business. And if you want to frolic in Las Vegas for a weekend, you don't have to ask anyone for permission. You just tell them you're attending a conference. Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

3. You don't have to worry about your job getting outsourced.

Have you ever heard of a CIO's job getting shipped off to India? Either have we. CIOs are too busy managing their outsourcing contracts with Tata and IBM to worry about their positions being in jeopardy. Software developers, on the other hand, always have to worry about the axe-man hefting the hatchet over their heads.

4. Golden parachutes to the rescue.

On the off chance a company decides to part ways with its CIO, the CIO is all but guaranteed a soft landing due to the employment contract his lawyer inked for him when he joined the company. While software developers are lucky if they get a measly six weeks severance, the CIO usually skips away with a minimum of six months severance, health insurance and all vested stock options.

5. Quit bugging me.

Even software developers tire of fixing bugs. Some days, they'd much rather be the person creating all the problems than the poor slob who has to clean them up.

Want the other side of the story? Read 8 Reasons Why a Developer Would NEVER Want to Be A CIO.

Nvidia to quit chipset business

Ricky Morris, DIGITIMES, Taipei [Friday 1 August 2008]

Nvidia has decided to throw in the towel and quit the chipset business, sources close to the situation at one of Taiwan's top motherboard makers have revealed. As the story is told, Nvidia called a meeting earlier this week with its motherboard partners to gauge support for it continuing to develop chipsets in the future.

The motherboard makers' response? Silence.

It is still early days and not all the facts are known at the time of writing, but it is believed Nvidia will transfer the chipset team to working on GPU projects. On the motherboard makers' side, some makers have already canceled upcoming high-end motherboard projects based on the nForce 7-series chipset.

The loss of its chipset business is expected to have a significant impact on Nvidia's GPU business in the short-term. Reception to the nForce 200 chip (BR04) which will enable SLI technology on Intel X58 motherboards has been lukewarm at best, with many makers saying they will not bother adding the chip on their boards. This means Nvidia needs to find a way of licensing and enabling multi-GPU support on motherboards using Intel and/or AMD chipsets fast. Otherwise it will have to cede the top-end of the graphics card market to AMD, which now has the benefit of Crossfire.

The news would also debunk any recent speculation that Apple will be adopting Nvidia chipsets for its upcoming notebook products. It would be unfortunate if Apple really has poured water on the close relationship it has built with Intel over the past few years, only to have its new best friend exit the market before products are even announced.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Oracle will be first

This is an excerpt from an oracle book

Oracle Will Be First
If you haven’t seen the “Oracle Firsts” on oracle.com, I’ve listed them here so that I can add a couple of notes from Oracle’s past to what I believe is a compelling vision in the Oracle future. Oracle will be the leader throughout the Information Age not only because they create the “bend in the road,” but they’re also willing to turn willingly when the road bends unexpectedly. Unlike Microsoft, they include Java to its fullest extent, embracing volumes of developers. Unlike IBM, they bring in every hardware solution, driving scalability to fruition and bringing choices to their customers. They embrace Linux for the future that it will bring while driving information to the Web with relentless force. They continue to support SAP and Microsoft while courting the Open Source community. I remember building the first Oracle client-server application with Brad Brown and Joe Trezzo when we were at Oracle in 1987. We wondered why it took so long for others to follow. Now, I just look at Oracle firsts and know that others will follow (in time), but I like to be part of the leading edge. Consider these Oracle firsts and get ready for a much-accelerated future:

■ First commercial RDBMS
■ First 32-bit database
■ First database with read consistency
■ First client-server database
■ First SMP database
■ First 64-bit RDBMS
■ First Web database
■ First database with Native Java Support
■ First commercial RDBMS ported to Linux
■ First database with XML
■ First database with Real Application Clusters (RAC)
■ First True Grid database
■ Free Oracle Database (Oracle Express Edition)
■ Unbreakable Linux Support

Friday, June 06, 2008

2008 CELTICS vs. LAKERS Game 1 (Celtics 1-0 | Lakers 0-1)

The Lakers-Celtics Rivalry or Celtics-Lakers Rivalry is a rivalry between two of the most storied basketball franchises in National Basketball Association history, the Los Angeles Lakers and Boston Celtics. The rivalry has been less intense since the retirements of Magic Johnson and Larry Bird in the early 1990s. The Celtics currently lead in total championships with 16 to the Lakers' 14.

Celtics 98, Lakers 88 (F)

1st five for the lakers
Derek Fisher
Kobe Bryant
Radmanovic
Lamar Odom
Pau Gasol

1st five for the celtics

Rajon Rondo
Ray Allen
Paul Pierce
Kevin Garnett
Perkins

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

AMD rolls out new laptop chip package

SAN JOSE, California - Advanced Micro Devices Inc. rolled out a new package of chips for laptops Wednesday, a major overhaul of its mobile lineup the chip maker hopes will help it climb out of a deep financial trough.

The Sunnyvale-based company, saddled with debt and hurt by product delays, is betting consumers will gravitate toward its new Turion brand processor and related chipset — part of a package that chip makers call a "platform" and sell together — because of their focus on high-definition video playback.

This new generation of Turion laptop chips will appear at launch in twice as many different computers — from Hewlett-Packard Co., Acer Inc., Toshiba Corp. and others — as the previous generation, released two years ago, AMD said.

Chip makers AMD, Intel Corp. and Nvidia Corp. are battling harder over high-end graphics as more people watch movies and television programs on their home computers and as operating systems and Web applications require better visuals.

To that end, AMD's new chips, which were unveiled at the Computex computer show in Taiwan, rely heavily on parts from ATI Technologies, a graphics chip supplier that AMD acquired for $5.6 billion in 2006 to help it challenge Nvidia and much larger Intel.

Intel is the world's No. 1 maker of microprocessors, the brains of personal computers. AMD is a distant No. 2, and with the acquisition of ATI now makes standalone graphics chips. Nvidia is the market leader in standalone graphics chips.

AMD hopes that by infusing its general-purpose chips with more advanced graphics capabilities it can boost their appeal and help the company increase its market share.

AMD has racked up more than $4 billion in losses over the last six quarters as Intel snatched away market share with newer parts and AMD struggled to digest the pricey ATI acquisition.

AMD's new Turion X2 Ultra Dual-Core mobile processors, which come in clock speeds up to 2.4 gigahertz, are accompanied by powerful new chipsets, a separate set of chips that do most of the graphics work — absent a standalone graphics chip — and control how the processor communicates with the rest of the computer.

AMD says its chipsets deliver three times better 3-D performance and five times better high-definition image quality than competing models because of the strength of its integrated graphics. AMD also says its chips transmit high-definition videos and photos faster over wireless networks.

The company says demand for its new lineup of laptop chips has been strong. - AP