Oracle Database 11g:
The Top New Features for DBAs and Developers
by Arup Nanda Oracle ACE Director
In this multipart series, learn how important new features such as Database Replay, Flashback Data Archive, and SecureFiles work via simple, actionable how-to's and sample code.
Change, although constantly present, is seldom risk-free. Even if the change is relatively minor (creating an index for example), your goal is probably to predict its precise impact as accurately as possible and then take appropriate action
Many new change assurance (or "Real Application Testing," as Oracle calls it) features in Oracle Database 11g bring that dream closer to reality. The Database Replay tool, for example, allows you to capture production database workload and replay it in a test (or even the same) database to assess the impact of change. Or consider SQL Performance Analyzer, which predicts the performance impact of changes to SQL before they are made. In my opinion, this Real Application Testing functionality alone justifies the upgrade.
Overall, Oracle Database 11g makes database infrastructure far more efficient, resilient, and manageable. For example, very compelling new features in the realm of partitioning ease the design and management of partitioned tables immensely.
In this series (as in the previous series focusing on Oracle Database 10g), you will learn how these new features work via simple, actionable how-to's and sample code.
Enjoy the series, and the release!
Database Replay
Explore Database Replay, the new tool that captures SQL statements and lets you replay them at will.
Partitioning
Learn about Referential, Internal, and Virtual Column partitioning; new sub-partitioning options; and more.
Transaction Management
Get an introduction to Flashback Data Archive and explore Enterprise Manager's LogMiner interface.
Schema Management
Add columns with a default value easily and explore invisible indexes, virtual columns, and read only tables.
SQL Plan Management
Use bind variables that pick the right plan every time and ensure a new execution plan is perfect before it's used.
SQL Performance Analyzer
Accurately assess the impact of rewriting of SQL statements and get suggested improvements.
SQL Access Advisor
Get advice about optimal table design based on actual use of the table, not just data.
PL/SQL: Efficient Coding
Triggers that fire several times at different events and ability to force triggers of the same type to follow a sequence are some new gems.
RMAN
Explore Data Recovery Advisor, do parallel backup of the same file, and create and manage virtual catalogs.
Security
Learn about Tablespace Encryption, case-sensitive passwords, data masking, and other features.
Automatic Storage Management
Learn about new SYSASM role, variable extent sizes, and other ASM improvements.
Manageability
Explore automatic memory management, multicolumn statistics, online patching, and more features.
Caching and Pooling
Explore SQL Result Cache, PL/SQL Function Cache, and Database Resident Connection Pooling.
SQL Operations: Pivot and Unpivot
Present information in a spreadsheet-type crosstab report from any relational table using simple SQL, and store any data from a crosstab table to a relational table.
SecureFiles
Explore next-generation LOBs: LOB encryption, compression, deduplication, and asynchronicity.
Resiliency
Explore Automatic Health Monitor, Automatic Diagnostic Repository, and other new resiliency features.
Data Guard
Query the physical standby database in real time without shutting down recovery, just for starters.
PL/SQL Performance
Explore in-lining of code, "real" native compilation, PLS timer, use of simple integer, and more.
Data Warehousing
Get a tour of some new features for data warehousing. [Coming soon]
And Don't Forget...
COPY command, Export/Imports, Data Pump improvements, and more. [Coming soon]
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Premier Developer Conference for Java, SOA, Web 2.0, and SQL
Don't miss Oracle Develop, the premier developer program, at Oracle OpenWorld 2008! Hear and learn from world-leading experts and your peers about next-generation development trends and technologies for service-oriented architecture (SOA), Extreme Transaction Processing (XTP), virtualization, and Web 2.0. Advance your skills and expand your knowledge in scores of expert-led, in-depth technical sessions and advanced how-tos on Java, .Net, XML, SCA, PL/SQL, Ajax, PHP, Spring, Groovy on Rails, and more. And roll up your sleeves for in-depth, hands-on labs covering the very latest development technologies including database, SOA, Complex Event Processing (CEP), Java, and .NET.
Since its launch in 2006, Oracle Develop has grown both in size and attendance, with additional tracks on the latest development trends in the industry. Thousands of developers attend Oracle Develop each year, and 2008 promises to be the biggest program so far. Based on popular demand, we have extended the conference by adding an additional day this year to include more sessions and hands-on labs. And, as an Oracle Develop attendee, you also get access to OTN Night, Oracle OpenWorld Exhibition Halls, and keynotes.
* When: Sunday, September 21, 10:30 a.m. to 4:45 p.m.
Monday, September 22, 10:15 a.m. to 6:30 p.m.
Tuesday, September 23, 9:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m.
* Where: San Francisco Marriott
Since its launch in 2006, Oracle Develop has grown both in size and attendance, with additional tracks on the latest development trends in the industry. Thousands of developers attend Oracle Develop each year, and 2008 promises to be the biggest program so far. Based on popular demand, we have extended the conference by adding an additional day this year to include more sessions and hands-on labs. And, as an Oracle Develop attendee, you also get access to OTN Night, Oracle OpenWorld Exhibition Halls, and keynotes.
* When: Sunday, September 21, 10:30 a.m. to 4:45 p.m.
Monday, September 22, 10:15 a.m. to 6:30 p.m.
Tuesday, September 23, 9:30 a.m. to 6:30 p.m.
* Where: San Francisco Marriott
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Top Ten Math Major Pick-Up Lines
10. You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus.
9. Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity or time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.
8. My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.
7. Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.
6. Wanna come back to my room....and see my 733mhz Pentium?
5. You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum.
4. Your body has the nicest arc length I've ever seen.
3. I wish I was your derivative because then I would be tangent to your curves.
2. I hope you know set theory because I want to intersect you and union you.
1. Would you like to see my log?
9. Since distance equals velocity times time, let's let velocity or time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you.
8. My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.
7. Let's convert our potential energy to kinetic energy.
6. Wanna come back to my room....and see my 733mhz Pentium?
5. You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum.
4. Your body has the nicest arc length I've ever seen.
3. I wish I was your derivative because then I would be tangent to your curves.
2. I hope you know set theory because I want to intersect you and union you.
1. Would you like to see my log?
Top Ten Reasons to Become a Statistician
10. Deviation is considered normal.
9. We feel complete and sufficient.
8. We are mean lovers.
7. Statisticians do it discretely and continuously.
6. We are right 95% of the time.
5. We can safely comment on someone's posterior distribution.
4. We may not be normal but we are transformable.
3. We never have to say we are certain.
2. We are honestly significantly different.
1. No one wants our jobs.
9. We feel complete and sufficient.
8. We are mean lovers.
7. Statisticians do it discretely and continuously.
6. We are right 95% of the time.
5. We can safely comment on someone's posterior distribution.
4. We may not be normal but we are transformable.
3. We never have to say we are certain.
2. We are honestly significantly different.
1. No one wants our jobs.
Definitions of Terms Commonly Used in Math
CLEARLY: I don't want to write down all the in-between steps.
TRIVIAL: If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class.
OBVIOUSLY: I hope you weren't sleeping when we discussed this earlier, because I refuse to repeat it.
RECALL: I shouldn't have to tell you this, but for those of you who erase your memory tapes after every test, here it is again.
WITHOUT LOSS OF GENERALITY: I'm not about to do all the possible cases, so I'll do one and let you figure out the rest.
ONE MAY SHOW: One did, his name was Gauss.
IT IS WELL KNOWN: See "Mathematische Zeitschrift'', vol XXXVI, 1892.
CHECK FOR YOURSELF: This is the boring part of the proof, so you can do it on your own time.
SKETCH OF A PROOF: I couldn't verify the details, so I'll break it down into parts I couldn't prove.
HINT: The hardest of several possible ways to do a proof.
BRUTE FORCE: Four special cases, three counting arguments, two long inductions, and a partridge in a pair tree.
SOFT PROOF: One third less filling (of the page) than your regular proof, but it requires two extra years of course work just to understand the terms.
ELEGANT PROOF: Requires no previous knowledge of the subject, and is less than ten lines long.
SIMILARLY: At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as before.
CANONICAL FORM: 4 out of 5 mathematicians surveyed recommended this as the final form for the answer.
THE FOLLOWING ARE EQUIVALENT: If I say this it means that, and if I say that it means the other thing, and if I say the other thing...
BY A PREVIOUS THEOREM: I don't remember how it goes (come to think of it, I'm not really sure we did this at all), but if I stated it right, then the rest of this follows.
TWO LINE PROOF: I'll leave out everything but the conclusion.
BRIEFLY: I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster.
LET'S TALK THROUGH IT: I don't want to write it on the board because I'll make a mistake.
PROCEED FORMALLY: Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning.
QUANTIFY: I can't find anything wrong with your proof except that it won't work if x is 0.
FINALLY: Only ten more steps to go...
Q.E.D. : T.G.I.F.
PROOF OMITTED: Trust me, it's true.
TRIVIAL: If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class.
OBVIOUSLY: I hope you weren't sleeping when we discussed this earlier, because I refuse to repeat it.
RECALL: I shouldn't have to tell you this, but for those of you who erase your memory tapes after every test, here it is again.
WITHOUT LOSS OF GENERALITY: I'm not about to do all the possible cases, so I'll do one and let you figure out the rest.
ONE MAY SHOW: One did, his name was Gauss.
IT IS WELL KNOWN: See "Mathematische Zeitschrift'', vol XXXVI, 1892.
CHECK FOR YOURSELF: This is the boring part of the proof, so you can do it on your own time.
SKETCH OF A PROOF: I couldn't verify the details, so I'll break it down into parts I couldn't prove.
HINT: The hardest of several possible ways to do a proof.
BRUTE FORCE: Four special cases, three counting arguments, two long inductions, and a partridge in a pair tree.
SOFT PROOF: One third less filling (of the page) than your regular proof, but it requires two extra years of course work just to understand the terms.
ELEGANT PROOF: Requires no previous knowledge of the subject, and is less than ten lines long.
SIMILARLY: At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as before.
CANONICAL FORM: 4 out of 5 mathematicians surveyed recommended this as the final form for the answer.
THE FOLLOWING ARE EQUIVALENT: If I say this it means that, and if I say that it means the other thing, and if I say the other thing...
BY A PREVIOUS THEOREM: I don't remember how it goes (come to think of it, I'm not really sure we did this at all), but if I stated it right, then the rest of this follows.
TWO LINE PROOF: I'll leave out everything but the conclusion.
BRIEFLY: I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster.
LET'S TALK THROUGH IT: I don't want to write it on the board because I'll make a mistake.
PROCEED FORMALLY: Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning.
QUANTIFY: I can't find anything wrong with your proof except that it won't work if x is 0.
FINALLY: Only ten more steps to go...
Q.E.D. : T.G.I.F.
PROOF OMITTED: Trust me, it's true.
Top 10 Excuses for Not Turning in Math Homework
10. It's Isaac Newton's birthday.
9. I couldn't decide whether i is the square root of -1 or i are the square root of -1.
8. I accidently divided by 0 and my paper burst into flames.
7. It's stuck inside a Klein bottle.
6. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook.
5. I had too much pi and got sick.
4. Someone already published it, so I didn't bother to write it up.
3. A four-dimensional dog ate it.
2. I have a solar calculator and it was cloudy.
1. There wasn't enough room to write it in the margin.
9. I couldn't decide whether i is the square root of -1 or i are the square root of -1.
8. I accidently divided by 0 and my paper burst into flames.
7. It's stuck inside a Klein bottle.
6. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook.
5. I had too much pi and got sick.
4. Someone already published it, so I didn't bother to write it up.
3. A four-dimensional dog ate it.
2. I have a solar calculator and it was cloudy.
1. There wasn't enough room to write it in the margin.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
MSSQL 2005 number 1 in what??????????????
I have seen this ad in their website and boy was I astonished...I never knew that MS SQL Server 2008 is number 1 in the enterprise database...have a look at their banner
apparently this is the article that they are saying...well...
SQL Server Still No. 1 in Databases
BZ Research study finds that 75 percent of enterprises use it
By Alan Zeichick
July 31, 2007 — Microsoft SQL Server is still No.1. According to the 2007 Database and Data Access, Integration and Reporting Study, completed by BZ Research in late June, 74.7 percent of enterprises are using SQL Server. This is slightly lower than the 76.4 percent reported in a comparable July 2006 study, but it’s still significantly higher than the other popular databases.
BZ Research, like SD Times, is a subsidiary of BZ Media. This survey, conducted during the second half of June, was completed by 686 software development managers.
The study showed that the other top databases, in terms of use, are Oracle (54.5 percent in 2007, up from 51.3 percent in 2006), Microsoft Access (54.4 percent, down from 56.1 percent), MySQL (43.4 percent, up from 38.5 percent), IBM DB2 (23.5 percent, up from 20.4 percent) and PostgreSQL (11.2 percent, down from 11.6 percent). All other databases had less than 10 percent responses.
One Microsoft user in this anonymous survey said, “SQL Server is much, much easier to use with ADO.NET than Oracle is at the moment. If Oracle ever addresses this, then we might be able to utilize Oracle more in the future.” Another commented, “Oracle is perceived as requiring a ‘Priesthood’ to program, configure and run. SQL Server is just another tool and is integrated with Visual Studio.” A third said, “SQL Server is more than adequate for our needs, easy to administer, works well with Visual Studio and runs fine on an x86 server. It is our standard for most in-house deployments. A lot of our third-party vendors use it too.”
Not everyone, of course, uses SQL Server: “We’re a major corporation and Oracle is a de facto standard for enterprise computing (along with IBM DB2). Microsoft SQL Server, though we use it, is not industrial strength.” Another added, “IBM is much easier to work with than Oracle in terms of tech support and sales.”
And sometimes it just depends: “We develop J2EE and .NET applications, SQL Server from Microsoft is everywhere in the small to mid customers, Oracle is in the large customers. When we sell applications we need to deploy apps that already mesh with existing databases.” Another said, “MySQL has been started to test as alternative to Oracle.”
Sybase had its fans and critics: “Sybase is still the de facto standard on Wall Street. It practically runs itself allowing the DBA staff to take on ‘other duties as assigned,’” said one respondent. Another said, “We wish Sybase added features as quickly as MySQL would, would extend T-SQL, and implement other features commonly found in other databases. Otherwise we’ll probably leave it.”
Not all installed databases are used for new projects, but are retained as part of legacy systems. The 2007 study also asked which databases were used for the most recently completed project. For this question, SQL Server was used by 51.0 percent of projects, followed by Oracle at 37.1 percent, MySQL at 20.7 percent, Access at 14.9 percent, DB2 at 12.5 percent and PostgreSQL at 4.2 percent. All other databases had fewer than three responses.
One respondent said, “Most [databases] are legacy, but new development is to be Oracle or SQL Server.”
Choosing Familiarity
When asked why they chose a specific database for their most recent project, nearly half of all respondents—45.9 percent—said “familiarity with the database.” The other top answers were “high availability or reliability features” (21.3 percent), “lowest development costs” (20.1 percent), “lowest deployment costs” (18.6 percent), “covered under site license” (17.1 percent) and “requested by specific applications” (15.3 percent).
The lowest responses to this question were “won competitive bidding” (1.9 percent) and “lowest memory footprint requirements” (3.1 percent).
The full study, with verbatim responses, is available for purchase from BZ Research.
The Professor Teaches About Evil and Christianity
"LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"
"Yes, sir."
"So you believe in God?"
"Absolutely."
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"
"Yes."
"Are you good or evil?"
"The Bible says I'm evil."
The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"
"Yes sir, I would."
"So you're good...!"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could...in fact most of us would if we could....God doesn't."
[No answer]
"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"
[No answer]
The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. "In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones. Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"
"Er... Yes."
"Is Satan good?"
"No."
"Where does Satan come from?"
The student falters. "From... God..."
"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"
"Yes, sir."
"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?"
"Yes."
"Who created evil?"
[No answer]
"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness. All the terrible things - do they exist in this world? "
The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."
"Who created them?"
[No answer]
The professor suddenly shouts at his student, "WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!" The professor closes in for the kill and climbs into the Christian's face. In a still small voice, he asked, "God created all evil, didn't He, son?"
[No answer]
The student tries to hold the steady, experienced gaze and fails. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues, "How is it that this God is good if He created all evil throughout all time?" The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world. "All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness and all the suffering created by this good God is all over the world, isn't it, young man?"
[No answer]
"Don't you see it all over the place? Huh?" Pause. "Don't you?" The professor leans into the student's face again and
whispers, "Is God good?"
[No answer]
"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"
The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do."
The old man shakes his head sadly. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"
"No, sir. I've never seen Him."
"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"
"No, sir. I have not."
"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus... in fact, do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?"
[No answer]
"Answer me, please."
"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."
"You're AFRAID... you haven't?"
"No, sir."
"Yet you still believe in him?"
"...yes..."
"That takes FAITH!" The professor smiles sagely at the underling. "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Where is your God now?"
[The student doesn't answer]
"Sit down, please."
The first Christian sits...defeated.
Another Christian raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"
The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, yet another Christian in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering."
The Christian looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you. Is there such thing as heat?"
"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."
"Is there such a thing as cold?"
"Yes, son, there's cold too."
"No, sir, there isn't."
The professor's grin freezes. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The second Christian continues.
"You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit 273 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than -273°C. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."
Silence. A pin drops somewhere in the classroom.
"Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?"
"That's a dumb question, son. What is night if it isn't darkness? What are you getting at...?"
"So you say there is such a thing as darkness?"
"Yes..."
"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light... but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you... give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"
Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him. This will indeed be a good semester. "Would you mind telling us what your point is, young man?"
"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error...."
The professor goes toxic. "Flawed...? How dare you...!"
"Sir, may I explain what I mean?"
The class is all ears.
"Explain... ohhhhh, explain..." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddenly he is affability himself. He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue.
"You are working on the premise of duality," the Christian explains. "That for example there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but has never seen, much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it." The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it. "Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids this country hosts, professor. Is there such a thing as immorality?"
"Of course there is, now look..."
"Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as injustice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil?" The Christian pauses. "Isn't evil the absence of good?"
The professor's face has turned an alarming color. He is so angry he is temporarily speechless.
The Christian continues, "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then God, if He exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil.1 What is that work God is accomplishing? The Bible tells us it is to see if each one of us will, of our own free will, choose good over evil."2
The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't view this matter as having anything to do with any choice; as a realist, I absolutely do not recognize the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."
The Christian replies, "I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going, Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"
"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."
"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"
The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.
"Professor. Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"
"I'll overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion. Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses.
"So you don't accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?"
"I believe in what is - that's science!"
"Ahh! SCIENCE!" the student's face splits into a grin. "Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed..."
"SCIENCE IS FLAWED..?" the professor splutters.
The class is in uproar. The Christian remains standing until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?"
The professor wisely keeps silent.
The Christian looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's mind?" The class breaks out into laughter. The Christian points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's mind... felt the professor's mind, touched or smelt the professor's mind? No one appears to have done so." The Christian shakes his head sadly. "It appears no one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's mind whatsoever. Well, according to the rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science, I DECLARE that the professor has no mind."
The class is in chaos.
The Christian sits.
"Yes, sir."
"So you believe in God?"
"Absolutely."
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"
"Yes."
"Are you good or evil?"
"The Bible says I'm evil."
The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"
"Yes sir, I would."
"So you're good...!"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could...in fact most of us would if we could....God doesn't."
[No answer]
"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"
[No answer]
The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. "In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones. Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"
"Er... Yes."
"Is Satan good?"
"No."
"Where does Satan come from?"
The student falters. "From... God..."
"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"
"Yes, sir."
"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?"
"Yes."
"Who created evil?"
[No answer]
"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness. All the terrible things - do they exist in this world? "
The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."
"Who created them?"
[No answer]
The professor suddenly shouts at his student, "WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!" The professor closes in for the kill and climbs into the Christian's face. In a still small voice, he asked, "God created all evil, didn't He, son?"
[No answer]
The student tries to hold the steady, experienced gaze and fails. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues, "How is it that this God is good if He created all evil throughout all time?" The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world. "All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness and all the suffering created by this good God is all over the world, isn't it, young man?"
[No answer]
"Don't you see it all over the place? Huh?" Pause. "Don't you?" The professor leans into the student's face again and
whispers, "Is God good?"
[No answer]
"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"
The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do."
The old man shakes his head sadly. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"
"No, sir. I've never seen Him."
"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"
"No, sir. I have not."
"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus... in fact, do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?"
[No answer]
"Answer me, please."
"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."
"You're AFRAID... you haven't?"
"No, sir."
"Yet you still believe in him?"
"...yes..."
"That takes FAITH!" The professor smiles sagely at the underling. "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Where is your God now?"
[The student doesn't answer]
"Sit down, please."
The first Christian sits...defeated.
Another Christian raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"
The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, yet another Christian in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering."
The Christian looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you. Is there such thing as heat?"
"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."
"Is there such a thing as cold?"
"Yes, son, there's cold too."
"No, sir, there isn't."
The professor's grin freezes. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The second Christian continues.
"You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit 273 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than -273°C. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."
Silence. A pin drops somewhere in the classroom.
"Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?"
"That's a dumb question, son. What is night if it isn't darkness? What are you getting at...?"
"So you say there is such a thing as darkness?"
"Yes..."
"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light... but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you... give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"
Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him. This will indeed be a good semester. "Would you mind telling us what your point is, young man?"
"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error...."
The professor goes toxic. "Flawed...? How dare you...!"
"Sir, may I explain what I mean?"
The class is all ears.
"Explain... ohhhhh, explain..." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddenly he is affability himself. He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue.
"You are working on the premise of duality," the Christian explains. "That for example there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but has never seen, much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it." The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it. "Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids this country hosts, professor. Is there such a thing as immorality?"
"Of course there is, now look..."
"Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as injustice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil?" The Christian pauses. "Isn't evil the absence of good?"
The professor's face has turned an alarming color. He is so angry he is temporarily speechless.
The Christian continues, "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then God, if He exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil.1 What is that work God is accomplishing? The Bible tells us it is to see if each one of us will, of our own free will, choose good over evil."2
The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't view this matter as having anything to do with any choice; as a realist, I absolutely do not recognize the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."
The Christian replies, "I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going, Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"
"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."
"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"
The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.
"Professor. Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"
"I'll overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion. Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses.
"So you don't accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?"
"I believe in what is - that's science!"
"Ahh! SCIENCE!" the student's face splits into a grin. "Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed..."
"SCIENCE IS FLAWED..?" the professor splutters.
The class is in uproar. The Christian remains standing until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?"
The professor wisely keeps silent.
The Christian looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's mind?" The class breaks out into laughter. The Christian points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's mind... felt the professor's mind, touched or smelt the professor's mind? No one appears to have done so." The Christian shakes his head sadly. "It appears no one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's mind whatsoever. Well, according to the rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science, I DECLARE that the professor has no mind."
The class is in chaos.
The Christian sits.
25 Phrases Of Wisdom
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.\
25. Your aren't wealthy until you posses something money can't buy.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.\
25. Your aren't wealthy until you posses something money can't buy.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Men strike back!! [Jokes]
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be opened when she brings it.
---------------------------------------- -------------------------! --
Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A: A woman who won't do what she's told.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
---------------------------------------- --------------- ------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------- ---------------------------------------- -------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who know this is all bull anyway !
A: None. It should be opened when she brings it.
---------------------------------------- -------------------------! --
Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A: It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?
A: You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Q: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A: A woman who won't do what she's told.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
---------------------------------------- --------------- ------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
---------------------------------------- ---------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
-------------- ---------------------------------------- -------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who know this is all bull anyway !
Top Video Card as of July 2008
1. GTX 280
2. 9800GX2
3. HD4870
4. GTX 260
5. HD3870X2
6. HD4850
7. 8800Ultra
8. 9800GTX
9. 8800GTX
10. 8800GTS 512MB (G92 Revision)
11. 8800GT 512MB
12. HD3870 512MB
13. 9600GT
14. HD2900XT 1GB
15. HD2900Pro 1GB
16. HD2900XT 512MB
17. HD2900Pro 512MB
18. 8800GTS 640MB
19. HD3850 512MB
20. 8800GT 256MB
21. 8800GTS 320MB
22. 7950GX2
23. 8800GS/9600GSO
24. HD 3850 256MB
25. HD2900GT
26. X1950XTX
27. X1900XTX
28. X1950XT
29. X1900XT 512MB
30. 7900GTX
31. X1900XT 256MB
32. 7900GTO
33. 7800GTX 512MB
34. 7950GT
35. X1950Pro 512MB
36. X1950Pro 256MB
37. 7900GT 512MB
38. 8600GTS
39. X1800XT 512MB
40. 7900GT 256MB
41. X1800XT 256MB
42. X1900GT
43. X1950GT
44. 8600GT 512MB
45. 8600GT 256MB
46. X1900GT Rev2
47. 7800GTX 256MB
48. 7900GS
49. 7800GT
50. X1800XL
51. 7800GS
52. X1800GTO
53. HD2600XT
54. HD3650
55. X1650XT
56. X850XTPE
57. 7600GT
58. X850XT
59. 7600GTS
60. HD2600Pro
61. X800XT/PE
62. 6800Ultra/EE
63. 6800GT
64. 6800GS
65. X800XL
66. X850Pro
67. X800pro
68. X800GTO/GTO2
69. Chrome 440GTX
70. 8500GT
71. Chrome 430
72. X1650Pro
73. X1600XT
74. 7600GS
75. HD2400XT
76. X800
77. 6800
78. X800GT
79. 7300GT
80. X1300XT
81. X1600Pro
82. HD3450
83. 8400GS
84. 6800XT/LE
85. 6600GT
86. HD2400Pro
87. X700Pro
88. 9800XT
89. 5950Ultra
90. 9800Pro
91. 5900Ultra
92. 9700Pro
93. 5800Ultra
94. 9800
95. 9800SE 256bit
96. S3 Chrome S27
97. X700
98. 9700
99. 5900
100. 5800
101. X1300Pro
102. 6600
103. 5900XT
104. X600XT
105. TI4800
106. TI4600
107. 9600XT
108. TI4800SE
109. X1550
110. X1300
111. 5700Ultra
112. 9500Pro
113. 9800SE 128bit
114. X600
115. 9600Pro
116. TI4400
117. 9500
118. 6600LE
119. X1300SE
120. 5700
121. 7300GS
122. 9600
123. 6200
124. 6200LE
125. X550
126. TI4200
127. 5600
128. 5600XT
129. 9550
130. 9600SE
131. 7300LE
132. 5500
133. X1050
134. X300
135. 7300SE
136. 7100GS
137. 9550SE
138. 9200Pro
139. 9000Pro
140. Matrox Parhelia
141. 8500Pro
142. GeForce3 TI500
143. 8500
144. 8500LE
145. 5200Ultra
146. 9200
147. 9250
148. GeForce4 MX460
149. 5200
150. 9000
151. 9200SE
152. GeForce3
153. GeForce3 TI200
154. GeForce4 MX 440
155. 7500
156. GeForce2 Ultra
157. GeForce2 GTS
158. GeForce4 MX 420
159. Radeon (later renamed Radeon 7200)
160. GeForce 256 DDR
161. Voodoo5 5500
162. GeForce2 MX 400
163. GeForce 256
164. Savage 2000
165. GeForce2 MX
166. Radeon VE (later renamed Radeon 7000)
167. Voodoo4 4500
168. Matrox G400
169. TNT2
170. Rage128 Pro
171. Voodoo3
172. TNT
173. Rage128
174. Savage 4
175. Matrox G200
176. Riva128
177. Intel i740
178. Rage3D Pro
179. Voodoo Banshee
180. Voodoo2
181. Riva
182. Rage3D
183. VooDoo1
These rankings have come from Overclock.net.
2. 9800GX2
3. HD4870
4. GTX 260
5. HD3870X2
6. HD4850
7. 8800Ultra
8. 9800GTX
9. 8800GTX
10. 8800GTS 512MB (G92 Revision)
11. 8800GT 512MB
12. HD3870 512MB
13. 9600GT
14. HD2900XT 1GB
15. HD2900Pro 1GB
16. HD2900XT 512MB
17. HD2900Pro 512MB
18. 8800GTS 640MB
19. HD3850 512MB
20. 8800GT 256MB
21. 8800GTS 320MB
22. 7950GX2
23. 8800GS/9600GSO
24. HD 3850 256MB
25. HD2900GT
26. X1950XTX
27. X1900XTX
28. X1950XT
29. X1900XT 512MB
30. 7900GTX
31. X1900XT 256MB
32. 7900GTO
33. 7800GTX 512MB
34. 7950GT
35. X1950Pro 512MB
36. X1950Pro 256MB
37. 7900GT 512MB
38. 8600GTS
39. X1800XT 512MB
40. 7900GT 256MB
41. X1800XT 256MB
42. X1900GT
43. X1950GT
44. 8600GT 512MB
45. 8600GT 256MB
46. X1900GT Rev2
47. 7800GTX 256MB
48. 7900GS
49. 7800GT
50. X1800XL
51. 7800GS
52. X1800GTO
53. HD2600XT
54. HD3650
55. X1650XT
56. X850XTPE
57. 7600GT
58. X850XT
59. 7600GTS
60. HD2600Pro
61. X800XT/PE
62. 6800Ultra/EE
63. 6800GT
64. 6800GS
65. X800XL
66. X850Pro
67. X800pro
68. X800GTO/GTO2
69. Chrome 440GTX
70. 8500GT
71. Chrome 430
72. X1650Pro
73. X1600XT
74. 7600GS
75. HD2400XT
76. X800
77. 6800
78. X800GT
79. 7300GT
80. X1300XT
81. X1600Pro
82. HD3450
83. 8400GS
84. 6800XT/LE
85. 6600GT
86. HD2400Pro
87. X700Pro
88. 9800XT
89. 5950Ultra
90. 9800Pro
91. 5900Ultra
92. 9700Pro
93. 5800Ultra
94. 9800
95. 9800SE 256bit
96. S3 Chrome S27
97. X700
98. 9700
99. 5900
100. 5800
101. X1300Pro
102. 6600
103. 5900XT
104. X600XT
105. TI4800
106. TI4600
107. 9600XT
108. TI4800SE
109. X1550
110. X1300
111. 5700Ultra
112. 9500Pro
113. 9800SE 128bit
114. X600
115. 9600Pro
116. TI4400
117. 9500
118. 6600LE
119. X1300SE
120. 5700
121. 7300GS
122. 9600
123. 6200
124. 6200LE
125. X550
126. TI4200
127. 5600
128. 5600XT
129. 9550
130. 9600SE
131. 7300LE
132. 5500
133. X1050
134. X300
135. 7300SE
136. 7100GS
137. 9550SE
138. 9200Pro
139. 9000Pro
140. Matrox Parhelia
141. 8500Pro
142. GeForce3 TI500
143. 8500
144. 8500LE
145. 5200Ultra
146. 9200
147. 9250
148. GeForce4 MX460
149. 5200
150. 9000
151. 9200SE
152. GeForce3
153. GeForce3 TI200
154. GeForce4 MX 440
155. 7500
156. GeForce2 Ultra
157. GeForce2 GTS
158. GeForce4 MX 420
159. Radeon (later renamed Radeon 7200)
160. GeForce 256 DDR
161. Voodoo5 5500
162. GeForce2 MX 400
163. GeForce 256
164. Savage 2000
165. GeForce2 MX
166. Radeon VE (later renamed Radeon 7000)
167. Voodoo4 4500
168. Matrox G400
169. TNT2
170. Rage128 Pro
171. Voodoo3
172. TNT
173. Rage128
174. Savage 4
175. Matrox G200
176. Riva128
177. Intel i740
178. Rage3D Pro
179. Voodoo Banshee
180. Voodoo2
181. Riva
182. Rage3D
183. VooDoo1
These rankings have come from Overclock.net.
5 Reasons Why a Developer Might Want to Become a CIO
The CIO job comes with lots of money and lots of perks. But would a software developer ever be willing to cash in his integrity and passion for programming to become a corporate wonk? Here are five compelling reasons why developers might do so.
1. It's all about the benjamins, baby.
Have you seen the money these cats make? Top information technology executives earn millions of dollars. And it's not just the cash CIOs pocket, it's the perks they get, too. Home security system to protect all their loot? Check. Personal use of the corporate jet? Check. Financial planner to funnel all that dough into off-shore, tax-free accounts?
2. It's good to be king.
Like Tom Petty and Jackie Mason say, "It's good to be king." As a CIO, you have control over the fate of an entire department. You control the priorities, salaries and indeed the future of everyone on your staff. If you want to make them come into the office on the weekend to work on their TPS reports, you can. You can also make software vendors laugh or cry with a flourish of your pen. You can spend a day on the links and call it business. And if you want to frolic in Las Vegas for a weekend, you don't have to ask anyone for permission. You just tell them you're attending a conference. Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
3. You don't have to worry about your job getting outsourced.
Have you ever heard of a CIO's job getting shipped off to India? Either have we. CIOs are too busy managing their outsourcing contracts with Tata and IBM to worry about their positions being in jeopardy. Software developers, on the other hand, always have to worry about the axe-man hefting the hatchet over their heads.
4. Golden parachutes to the rescue.
On the off chance a company decides to part ways with its CIO, the CIO is all but guaranteed a soft landing due to the employment contract his lawyer inked for him when he joined the company. While software developers are lucky if they get a measly six weeks severance, the CIO usually skips away with a minimum of six months severance, health insurance and all vested stock options.
5. Quit bugging me.
Even software developers tire of fixing bugs. Some days, they'd much rather be the person creating all the problems than the poor slob who has to clean them up.
Want the other side of the story? Read 8 Reasons Why a Developer Would NEVER Want to Be A CIO.
1. It's all about the benjamins, baby.
Have you seen the money these cats make? Top information technology executives earn millions of dollars. And it's not just the cash CIOs pocket, it's the perks they get, too. Home security system to protect all their loot? Check. Personal use of the corporate jet? Check. Financial planner to funnel all that dough into off-shore, tax-free accounts?
2. It's good to be king.
Like Tom Petty and Jackie Mason say, "It's good to be king." As a CIO, you have control over the fate of an entire department. You control the priorities, salaries and indeed the future of everyone on your staff. If you want to make them come into the office on the weekend to work on their TPS reports, you can. You can also make software vendors laugh or cry with a flourish of your pen. You can spend a day on the links and call it business. And if you want to frolic in Las Vegas for a weekend, you don't have to ask anyone for permission. You just tell them you're attending a conference. Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
3. You don't have to worry about your job getting outsourced.
Have you ever heard of a CIO's job getting shipped off to India? Either have we. CIOs are too busy managing their outsourcing contracts with Tata and IBM to worry about their positions being in jeopardy. Software developers, on the other hand, always have to worry about the axe-man hefting the hatchet over their heads.
4. Golden parachutes to the rescue.
On the off chance a company decides to part ways with its CIO, the CIO is all but guaranteed a soft landing due to the employment contract his lawyer inked for him when he joined the company. While software developers are lucky if they get a measly six weeks severance, the CIO usually skips away with a minimum of six months severance, health insurance and all vested stock options.
5. Quit bugging me.
Even software developers tire of fixing bugs. Some days, they'd much rather be the person creating all the problems than the poor slob who has to clean them up.
Want the other side of the story? Read 8 Reasons Why a Developer Would NEVER Want to Be A CIO.
Nvidia to quit chipset business
Ricky Morris, DIGITIMES, Taipei [Friday 1 August 2008]
Nvidia has decided to throw in the towel and quit the chipset business, sources close to the situation at one of Taiwan's top motherboard makers have revealed. As the story is told, Nvidia called a meeting earlier this week with its motherboard partners to gauge support for it continuing to develop chipsets in the future.
The motherboard makers' response? Silence.
It is still early days and not all the facts are known at the time of writing, but it is believed Nvidia will transfer the chipset team to working on GPU projects. On the motherboard makers' side, some makers have already canceled upcoming high-end motherboard projects based on the nForce 7-series chipset.
The loss of its chipset business is expected to have a significant impact on Nvidia's GPU business in the short-term. Reception to the nForce 200 chip (BR04) which will enable SLI technology on Intel X58 motherboards has been lukewarm at best, with many makers saying they will not bother adding the chip on their boards. This means Nvidia needs to find a way of licensing and enabling multi-GPU support on motherboards using Intel and/or AMD chipsets fast. Otherwise it will have to cede the top-end of the graphics card market to AMD, which now has the benefit of Crossfire.
The news would also debunk any recent speculation that Apple will be adopting Nvidia chipsets for its upcoming notebook products. It would be unfortunate if Apple really has poured water on the close relationship it has built with Intel over the past few years, only to have its new best friend exit the market before products are even announced.
Nvidia has decided to throw in the towel and quit the chipset business, sources close to the situation at one of Taiwan's top motherboard makers have revealed. As the story is told, Nvidia called a meeting earlier this week with its motherboard partners to gauge support for it continuing to develop chipsets in the future.
The motherboard makers' response? Silence.
It is still early days and not all the facts are known at the time of writing, but it is believed Nvidia will transfer the chipset team to working on GPU projects. On the motherboard makers' side, some makers have already canceled upcoming high-end motherboard projects based on the nForce 7-series chipset.
The loss of its chipset business is expected to have a significant impact on Nvidia's GPU business in the short-term. Reception to the nForce 200 chip (BR04) which will enable SLI technology on Intel X58 motherboards has been lukewarm at best, with many makers saying they will not bother adding the chip on their boards. This means Nvidia needs to find a way of licensing and enabling multi-GPU support on motherboards using Intel and/or AMD chipsets fast. Otherwise it will have to cede the top-end of the graphics card market to AMD, which now has the benefit of Crossfire.
The news would also debunk any recent speculation that Apple will be adopting Nvidia chipsets for its upcoming notebook products. It would be unfortunate if Apple really has poured water on the close relationship it has built with Intel over the past few years, only to have its new best friend exit the market before products are even announced.
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